Always: You have our sympathy.
You don’t need answers; you didn’t do anything wrong. Why your husband did? His problem, it has nothing to do with you. You only need answers when you do something wrong to understand why you did it and how you can fix it. We each have our own yetzer hora and no one can understand someone else’s addictions. Our only job is to better understand our own problems and addictions.
Where do you go from here? B”H I have no idea, but I can tell you that it will take time.
Take the time to heal. Definitely connect with people who have been in your shoes, keep yourself busy and make some time for yourself. Bond with family and friends. Good luck.