My deepest sympathy to you. I would point out, though, that when one suffers from a true addiction, though they must be held accountable to a degree for their actions, the addiction controls them and not vice versa.
I do not, nevertheless, believe that addiction is a disease, in spite of what the AMA would have us say politically correctly. It is not a disease to smoke that first marijuana cigarette, or swallow that first amphetamine. It may be that one person’s body reacts more quickly addictively to a drug than another, and maybe one person can metabolize alcohol more easily than another, but NO ONE FORCES ANYONE TO ABUSE ALCOHOL AND DRUGS. Ditto for internet inappropriate websites.
The only person who has my rachmonus is one who becomes addicted to painkillers while suffering after an accident or serious illness. For them it starts out innocently. But as soon as their behavior reflects ill purpose, there the pity stops.
I don’t know what your ex was addicted to, but whatever it was, it ruined your marriage and gave you great agmas nefesh, and for that I am so saddened.