silent one, take comfort in the fact that this phenomenon happens in the best of families, across the spectrum, and it’s something that we’re still trying to figure out and prevent. one of the hardest things for parents to deal with is wondering if they could have preventing it.
crisis, i would guess that you are speaking from personal experience. even if you did, your words are very hurtful. while kids going off the derech all have a story, it’s also combined with certain personality traits. for some ppl, these issues affect them in such a way, that they can’t continue to be frum. for others, they can be resilient and deal with it, or they are lucky enough to get help and have the right ppl to help them through it. so, crisis, while my knee jerk reaction is to be horrified that you can be so hurtful, what’s your story? the fact that you are here, speaks volumes, at least to me, as a frum mental health professional, because i believe in the power of change, which is synonymous with teshuva, for me. perhaps you need to speak with someone, a frum therapis perhaps to deal with it. no one is a lost cause.