December 24, 2012 5:44 pm at 5:44 pm #607553
Please consider saying a short Tefilla daily with all your heart for children or young adults who are lost, either “off the Derech” or emotionally lost. I have a son who is in this situation and it tears my heart apart all the time; I am so sad for him and I feel so helpless. I wrote a short “prayer” for these children. If only other people would recite this or similar Tefilla for our lost children:
* * * * * * *
Father Dear, return now, look down from Heaven and see, and be mindful of Your young sons and daughters who are forsaken to hopelessness and endless darkness day after day.
Having lost their way from the Derech HaTorah; even Shabbos and Yom Tov bring little respite.
Father Dear, give them an avenue, their own unique way in holiness- so that they can strive for greatness.
O Hashem return them, illuminate Your face so that they may be saved.
* * * * * * *
Please keep this thread alive so that more people will see it and be inspired to Daven. Please forgive me if I seem bitter; please try to put yourself in my shoes and feel my pain.December 24, 2012 5:52 pm at 5:52 pm #915498The little I knowParticipant
? ” ???? ??? ” ???? ???? ????? ??? ?? ???, ???? ???? ????? “??? ????? ?????? ????? ????” (?????? ???? ??? ?”?)
??? ???? ?????? ?’ ????? ?????? ????? ????? ?? ???……… ?????? ?? ???? ????? ?????? ?? ???, ?????? ?????? ??????, ????? ?????? ?? ?????? ??????? ???? ?????? ????? ??????, ????? ?? ?? ?????? ??????? ?????? ??????.December 24, 2012 7:07 pm at 7:07 pm #915499
It is heartbreaking to see how many people are lost and going off the derech these days. We certainly need a lot of siyatta dishmaya. Can I recommend something that may be a zchus for your child to come back? Get personally involved in kiruv. There are organizations that can pair you up with a non frum yet or on the way to being frum person of your gender that you can learn with over the phone and have a personal hashpaah on. If you exert yourself and sacrifice your time and efforts to bring Hashems lost children back to him, He will certainly bring yours back to you.December 24, 2012 7:29 pm at 7:29 pm #915500
Thank you very much for your kindness and suggestion. Can you please suggest an organization that helps people learn over the phone?December 24, 2012 7:30 pm at 7:30 pm #915501TheGoqParticipant
SilentOne thank you for not remaining silent in this case, as your prayers always are this one is heartrendingly beautiful, your son knows deeply how much you love him and that is so important keep praying and keep believing in him and in yourself.December 24, 2012 9:37 pm at 9:37 pm #915502
Silent One: I am praying for you and your son…. I feel your pain..
May Hakadush Baruch Hu open up to all our prayers on behalf of all lost neshomos!!December 25, 2012 1:38 am at 1:38 am #915503kkls45Member
I daven for people who are OTD everyday. It is especially important because we can try to help them, but at the end of the day it is really up to them to change their ways and our tefillos can only help.December 25, 2012 4:06 am at 4:06 am #915504December 25, 2012 4:41 am at 4:41 am #915505aurora77Participant
Hello silent one,
Your prayer was beautiful and poignant. I hope and pray that your son and all other souls who are struggling feel this light and love wherever they are, that G-d may reunite us all.December 25, 2012 7:02 pm at 7:02 pm #915507
How incredibly naive and patronizing.
When a child goes off the derech, the first thing a parent usually says is “how am I going to show my face in shul now?”
Some people leave, especially when confronted with things like emperical data, historcal accuracy of the Torah, racially superior attitudes towards other people, or just being tired of holding 17th century shtetle life up as an ideal plane of existance.
It’s been a fact of life since the Torah was “given”December 25, 2012 9:30 pm at 9:30 pm #915509
You are a koifer beikar. Hakkeh es shinav. Go post elsewhere.December 25, 2012 11:20 pm at 11:20 pm #915510
Guess I struck a nerveDecember 26, 2012 2:04 am at 2:04 am #915511
No you didn’t strike a nerve but you are a koifer and an apikorus and someone with your foolish beliefs belongs on some atheist website. Don’t come to Yeshivaworld with your stupidity. You don’t see what azas panim you are to come to a frum website and insult our intelligence with your comments?
What on earth is ” with things like emperical data, historcal accuracy of the Torah?” All the questions have been answered already on this site and many others. Anyone who wants answers should go to a Rabbi and ask or check the websites that deal with the issues or buy any of a few 100 books that deal with the questions.
Also you are a very cruel person for saying this ” How incredibly naive and patronizing.
When a child goes off the derech, the first thing a parent usually says is “how am I going to show my face in shul now?””
Do you have any clue what parents actually say?! How dare you make such a statement as though you are in the homes and know what parents say?! Are you so stupid to actually think this is what people say?!
Uch im already nauseous from you and im sure it will only get worse with your response so do me a favor and don’t respond.December 26, 2012 3:31 am at 3:31 am #915512zahavasdadParticipant
It is important to make people want to stay instead of chasing them away. Too many people today are being chased away .December 26, 2012 4:09 am at 4:09 am #915513
crisis, the pain a parent feels when their child goes off the derech is one of the worst any person can imagine. of all the nisyonos a person can go thru, this one is just about the worst. for you to be so callous and cruel, and apply superficiality is just beyond reprehensible.
i have no doubt that the moderators will block you, but interestingly enough, the only reason i can think why you even visit this website is because you might have left the frum community with some bitterness, but on some level, you might miss it. and rightly so.December 26, 2012 1:57 pm at 1:57 pm #915515
No – I don’t think “how am I going to show my face in shul now?”. I think “how much I wish my son was in Shul with me now as he was when he was younger”. He was and still is, a beautiful Neshoma, just so troubled. When his friend R”L lost his father at age of 7 y.o., my son broke down crying in pain for his friend’s loss. My son used to be the first into Minyan every morning and then he had a terrible year in Yeshiva (where he was exposed to things a child should never hear) and everything fell apart. My thoughts are – deep down he is in so much pain and yearns for his real mission in life and for and closeness to Hashem; yet to my sorrow, he cannot find it. It is as if a person had a child afflicted with a terrible disease, R”L, and the cure was available, but for some reason, the cure could not be made available to the child. How helpless would one feel then? This is how I feel. Hashem Yerachem on all children in such a Matzav and that they all should be brought back B’Karov Mamush to realize and partake of the beauty and radiance of the Torah, Mitzvos and closeness to Hashem.December 26, 2012 5:19 pm at 5:19 pm #915516The little I knowParticipant
I overheard a discussion in shul some months ago in which someone asked why HKB”H listened to the tefilo of Yishmael, not Hagar, on which Rashi explains that the tefilo of a sick person for himself is preferred to that of another for him. Doesn’t this challenge the other Rashi that Hashem gives priority status to the tefilo for another? The suggested answer was to see what the posuk states was Hagar’s tefilo. “?? ???? ???? ????”, essentially asking to not have to witness the death of the child. This tefilo was not for the ???? but for herself. It may be natural to think of oneself when trouble with a family member exists, but it is unproductive. It does not help the one with the real problem, and it does not even help when this becomes a tefilo. So, yes, the parent might think of their own shame with regards to the child in trouble, but the direction and focus needs to change seriously to the real problem, not the side issues.December 26, 2012 6:26 pm at 6:26 pm #915518
WIY: I’m with you on this one!!December 26, 2012 6:54 pm at 6:54 pm #915519
Thank you all so much for your beautiful words of Chizuk and for your Tefillos which I am sure will be heard by the Av HaRachamim and thereby bring Yeshuos to the world. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your support! May we all be Zoche to have our tears and heartfelt Tefillos go straight to the Kisei HaKavod and be accepted L’Ratzon. May we have only Nachas from our children and share many Simchos.December 26, 2012 7:45 pm at 7:45 pm #915520
amen!December 26, 2012 8:39 pm at 8:39 pm #915521
“May we have only Nachas from our children and share many Simchos.”
Ah yes…the only reason people have children, so that they become their own little personal “nachas” machines.
Some kids find happiness and fufilment elsewhere. The best and brightest are seeing through it all. And all you can offer is lip service tefilahs rather than looking at the real problem.
But yeah, shoot the messenger. It’s worked well in the past. Maybe the Jewish Observer can do another issue about “Kids at risk” that will solve the problem.December 26, 2012 10:18 pm at 10:18 pm #915522
crisis, can you explain where your animosity is coming from?
kids going off the derech happens for alot of reasons, but generally, there was some kind of specific negative experience/incident, abuse, tragedy, family dysfunction, sometimes combined with jewish education taught with the concept of the God of fire and brimstone instead of the God who loves us, etc.December 26, 2012 10:18 pm at 10:18 pm #915523zahavasdadParticipant
“May we have only Nachas from our children and share many Simchos.”
Serious question if your child got a PHd in cancer research and discovered the cure for cancer, but was Melachel Shabbos and ate treif, Would you get Nachas from them?
At least One Gadol Hadors son did get a PHd while he was not OTD, the Gadols grandchildren are. Do you think he got Nachas from his Son and grandchildren?December 26, 2012 10:47 pm at 10:47 pm #915524
silent one, take comfort in the fact that this phenomenon happens in the best of families, across the spectrum, and it’s something that we’re still trying to figure out and prevent. one of the hardest things for parents to deal with is wondering if they could have preventing it.
crisis, i would guess that you are speaking from personal experience. even if you did, your words are very hurtful. while kids going off the derech all have a story, it’s also combined with certain personality traits. for some ppl, these issues affect them in such a way, that they can’t continue to be frum. for others, they can be resilient and deal with it, or they are lucky enough to get help and have the right ppl to help them through it. so, crisis, while my knee jerk reaction is to be horrified that you can be so hurtful, what’s your story? the fact that you are here, speaks volumes, at least to me, as a frum mental health professional, because i believe in the power of change, which is synonymous with teshuva, for me. perhaps you need to speak with someone, a frum therapis perhaps to deal with it. no one is a lost cause.
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