A working guy who still learns every day seems to be what she wants.
Those who go to Night Kollel after working all day are the best of the best, and deserve our support the most.
The key should be to find a guy who is more Sinai than Oker Harim. If a guy works, his time to learn must be spent with concrete goals in mind and with an eye towards covering ground, so that he can have a real kinyan hatorah. This has become my approach. I learn Shas, Rashi, Tosafot; Chumash with Rashi, Onkelos, and different parshanim; Mishnayot with Bartenura and Kehati; Mishna Berura; Rambam; Kitzur every day. I have clear goals to master this material and to do chazara on it. My rabbanim are very proud of what I do and say that they wish people in yeshivas did this, since many, if not most, of the bochrim in yeshivas end up not coming out with much knowledge, I am told. If a man has this knowledge of Chumash, Shas, Mmishna, and Halacha, he will be able to teach his children and learn with them, and be the “mara d’atra” of his household, which is a husband’s role. And a man who learns through all of Shas and knows halakha is a talmid chacham who should have the respect of his children and wife.