In terms of religion, there is nothing that is reasonable for you to expect of another person’s individual religious experience and connection.
Generally, in order to have a happy marriage, your expectations should be limited to expectations from yourself, and you should trust that your wife expects things of herself.
If you are concerned that your children will be negatively impacted because of a discrepancy between yours and your wife’s observance, I suggest that you take that up with a marriage counselor, or lower your religious level so that it will match your wife’s and protect your innocent children.