I asked one of my teachers how to stay involved after marriage. She told me that from the time she got married, she and her husband would learn something when/after they were eating their dinner together. You can start out that way, find out if it is something the girl you’re dating is interested in doing. Then keep it up. Find something she likes. My husband wanted to learn Mishnah Breurah, and it was very difficult. Our learning styles didn’t always match for us to be “chavrusas”, but hashkafa is different.
What about the Shabbatons that are put on periodically? I think it is terrific to get away and do something like that. If you can leave (future) children with parents or find out if they have suitable children programs arranged, then it is great for a getaway with a ruchniusdik plus.
Don’t always expect her to have her nose in a book. She definitely won’t have time for that after she gets married and is running a house. Also, the type of shiurim she will want to attend will be different – chinuch bonim classes can be a series and that can encourage her to be involved in a long term basis with something that is relevant to her everyday life and will probably have a big impact on how your house is run.
Definitely make it clear during dating that you want a house focused on ruchnius and that it’s not just a dream, but a reality you want to create. Does this girl think she can be a partner in that? What can she contribute, how does she feel about that?
Also, Popa +1 – really great advice coming from your corner the last few days. Keep ’em coming!