Reply To: Dating/marriage question, Am I realistic…?

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#917482
popa_bar_abba
Participant

Let’s make another point now. I think the more frequent problem is a woman marries a guy thinking that he is going to learn, and he doesn’t.

Maybe she thought he was going to learn in kollel, but he wants to work. Maybe she thought he would work and have a 2 hour seder every night, but he only does daf yomi. Maybe she thought he would do daf yomi and he does nothing.

I’m not telling you what to want and what to not want, and if this is so important to you, then maybe get divorced (I think that’s crazy). But, if you harass your husband about it, or stop respecting him because of it, you are going to ruin your marriage. So my advice really is to learn to respect him anyway.