Reply To: Dating/marriage question, Am I realistic…?

Oomis

With all due respect I believe you are from a very different generation than the young girls today. We live in a culture and society that constantly throws nisyonos our way and the yetzer hora is confusing so many people. The only way to stay strong is to constantly infuse yourself with Torah. I hate to say this but I have watched the women in my own family and I see that over the years they got worse not better. Halachos become forgotten and traditions become rote and just things that need to be done instead of being exciting and vibrant. I don’t think girls need to learn anywhere near as much as men but I do think they should regularly read hashkafic works or attend listen to or watch a shiur if their yiddishkiet is important to them and they want to grow.

You know, I want to throw something out there. Everyone gives lip service to “growing in marriage” and all that fluff but I think most people are full of it and from looking around it seems like most girls usually dont grow much as a person after they leave seminary and most guys dont grow much after they leave yeshiva unless they are serious learners and attend a serious kollel. Growing in Yiddishkiet means working on your relationship with Hashem and if thats not happening then you arent growing even if you are going through the motions of marriage and bringing up kids if it isnt focused and directed as avodas Hashem then you are just a mom and dad who gave birth to little Jewish kids and you hope that the yeshiva Rebbes and Moras will do a good job.

Lets be realistic, the ideas we heard in yeshiva or seminary must be reviewed often or else we forget them or they just lose meaning to us. I dont believe any young person today can keep their level without putting in time learning from a book/sefer or via shiurim. Its just wishful thinking. For most people who talk about growth in marriage the growing happens at the waistline and nowhere else.

Popa

I honestly think you are a guy or maybe a husband and wife or even a few different people sharing one account. I don’t buy it for one second that your account is used by only one person and that person is a girl.