“The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.”
~George Jessel
“When you go to court, you’re putting fate into the hands of 12 people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.”
~Norm Crosby
“I’m not feeling very well – I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.”
~Groucho Marx
“You can lead a man to Congress, but you can’t make him think.”
~Milton Berle
“If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, Of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?”
~Albert Einstein
“I didn’t go crazy until 1952. That’s when I began making a steady salary &
could afford a psychiatrist.”
~Allan Sherman
“What do we want?! PATIENCE! When do we want it?! NOW!”
~Al Franken
“Men marry women hoping they’ll never change. Women marry men hoping they will. Invaribly they’re both
disappointed.”
~ Albert Einstein