Reply To: Popa figured it out.

Hakatan and DY are saying the same thing, and they are both saying the reason which I categorized as the “wrong” reason in my OP.

The reason they are wrong, as I argued before, is that while perhaps there is a benefit to “setting the tone” (whatever that means–you sound like a social sciences professor), it is unlikely that the benefit so outweighs the other benefits of marriage that you would consider this a deal-breaker. Yet, many many young women do consider this a deal breaker.