Reply To: Sherut Leumi… I don't know what to do

Moderator 95, thank you for putting my original post into paragraphs! I didn’t realize until after I posted it that I forgot to do that. Also, I can see myself doing both, but i would just need to make major lifestyle adjustments in order to blend in with the other girls who are doing the one I end up doing. Whether it means purchasing more religious denim skirts so that on days I am not working, I look like I fit in more, or putting my hair up every day like a bais yaakov girl so that I can also blend in a bit more, I would still have to adjust my lifestyle.

The key is that obviously, I should not change my personality for the sake of fitting in, but also I have found that things that are considered inappropriate in the more chareidi community are totally normal to talk about amongst modern orthodox Jews, and sometimes, I forget that there isn’t a place (no matter what school I am in) that will be for girls exactly like me.

If I go through Agudah, I might be overwhelmed with the chumras that girls in the apartment I will be living in while doing my service take on, but at the same time, I have found that since I am currently in a modern orthodox seminary, that the fact that people here don’t cover their legs, and that the female teachers here don’t always completely cover their hair (when I was looking for places to switch to, I did look at some bais yaakovs, but eventually it got to the point where I could only go so bais yaakov in my search without having to weigh on on the fact that it would have been a culture shock anyway, however I got rejected by all the bais yaakovs that I looked into because I guess they didn’t exactly think of me as a legitimate bais yaakov girl. I also got rejected by some modern orthodox seminaries because they either didn’t have room for me or I didn’t give off the impression of being modern orthodox either) has been a culture shock for me as well.

I have been told by some of my friends who are doing sherut leumi through bat ami that the organization aren’t so boxed in for specific hashkafos, but at the same time, since I have to take into account that I will be living in an apartment with other girls who are doing sherut leumi in the same city that I end up doing it in and I am assuming that i would be living in an apartment with people who are doing it through whichever organization that I am deciding to do it with.

I find that in my current seminary, I sometimes have trouble relating to other girls because I don’t watch tv or movies, pay attention to hollywood, or stuff like that and I have had to figure out how to bond with girls and find chavrusas where I won’t be pressured to know about those things.

All of that also has to be taken into account as well.