Zahavasdad, then your relatives are not at all typical of the average Israeli family, or even of the average American family that actually lives here on their own without family support.
Income taxes paid by chiloni families do nothing to support chareidi families. If anything, you might say that in cities like Yerushalayim, chilonim pay municipal taxes that fund services from which chareidim benefit. True. So what? Our municipal taxes fund things like the Batsheva Dance Troupe and the Israeli opera, tickets to which are heavily subsidized by the government.
My taxes funded the bailout of the kibbutzim, too. So?
What you are not getting is that 1) any chiloni family is welcome to have the same amount of children we have and get the exact same subsidy. They are entitled to it. It is their choice not to, and 2) That the average chareidi WORKING family makes far less than the average chiloni family, and the income tax breaks we get are the same they would get were they to live in our income bracket.
There is no subsidy that benefits chareidim specifically except for the $200 per month that is given to the kollelim. Period. Those who can afford to jet back and forth to the US are being jetted by their families, and if their parents can afford it, may Hashem bless them.