rbsjew – i appreciate your comments and the respectful tone. BTW, I DO pay full arnona and all of my other taxes. (I do get more points for having more kids, but I don’t think that’s the main issue here….)
I think that the reason I get upset is because of the way you, and others, seem to think that the people like me are so few and far between, when the reality I see is different.
From my vantage point, as a chareidi woman in a chareidi community, I see that a very large majority of chareidi women work, and work hard to support their families. I am not saying it does not happen that people rely on avtachat hachnasah, etc., but I do think it happens less than you think.
I think the PR that the chareidim have to the country as a whole is terrible, and that people see chareidim much in the way you do, when, it is not the reality for most. The secular then resent the chareidim and are spewing hate, which makes the chareidim feel frightened and intimidated.