Dear superme,
It’s about time you were let in on a secret. From your description, it is irrefutable that Your Rabbi is
a) emotionally imbalanced
b) grossly lacking self esteem
Take yourself out of the equation for a sec, and listen: He’s trying to make a living, fighting mightily for his mortgage payment and to put food on the table for his family. His teaching only superficially builds his self esteem, so he must torment others to gain himself a handle. YOUR STRONG. YOU HAVE FRIENDS. YOU’RE YOUNG AND FREE. Pity him.
We once had a teacher who used to throw tantrums at expense of good boys (and she always gave us bad marks). We realized she was very insecure so the class chipped in for a box of chocolates for Purim, and the whole class signed it. We gave it to her the week before Purim, and the second she got it, she walked out of the room. When she came back, she was all red eyed like she was crying in the bathroom. She was THE NICEST TEACHER SINCE!
It is a good idea to get hold of the other Rav in the room. If you think he’s a Rav you would want to talk to, call his home, and set up a meeting, and nothing less. Lay the story down before you meet him to make sure you’re not leaving anything out. If not, speak to the rav of your shul who knows you or your family, for advice.
Let us know what happened, and good luck!