Dear superme – I feel your pain, I agree the rebbi should reevaluate his career choices, I think the whole situation stinks, I am sorry you were humiliated so. However, it is unrealistic to expect HIM to make a public apology to right the wrong. This person was out of control, the administration is weak, and your parents can’t do any better than they’re doing.
BUT….. here’s a reality of life: you can’t change anyone except for yourself. In order for you to grow into the wonderful, sensitive bas melech I am sure you are, YOU need to take the next step and learn the tools to grow past it. I think a competent therapist can work with you to work out the hurt and frustration, the shame and humiliation, and give you some coping strategies.
Yeah, it’s not fair that the rebbi did this to you and I’m suggesting the YOU should get help. But, as I mentioned in my earlier post, carrying a grudge will only hurt YOU. Sometimes to get on with life we have to learn to move past it, and yes, forgive. When a really big wrong has been perpetrated on us, the more we nurture the anger and hurt, the worse effect it has on us. We can grow bitter, mean, and withdraw into ourselves OR we can learn from the situation and never treat others as that person treated you, become a bringer of peace and goodwill.
It is not a fault of Judaism that this person was out of line. It is not the Torah that failed you. Don’t give up on G-d because people are weak. Daven. Ask G-d to help you through your pain. Ask Him to help this rebbi, the principal, and everyone you’d like to see suffering as you have. Ask Him to show you how to get past your pain.
Since the others won’t change YOU are going to have to learn to be strong. That’s why I suggest a cognitive therapist for a few, maybe 8, sessions with the goal of letting go hurts and getting past them. You can do it. You are sensitive, a thinking person, and young enough to be flexible. Take this ugly experience, take this garbage, and turn it into an opportunity to flourish. If you try to see it the way I suggest, you will be able to handle the many hurts and insults that occur in life.