Aproudbygirl. Oy Oy we are so similar! My parents too contemplated divorce ( about once a day) and I used to pray that they would. Somewhere down the line things got better and they seem happier now then they ver did when I was growing up.. I will bet that it has to do with my mother getting help and medicine. I have younger siblings, much younger, and when I went to college/got engaged I was so scared to leave home because I was kind of their savior, but my sister says my mom is a lot better to her. I used to “hate” my mom and I once, Hashem forgive me, was so mad at her for
Hitting me and throwing a sneaker at me that outloud I wished something very horrible on her, and no matter what she ever did I regret it still now. I hope Hashem forgives me for saying what I said. She is so close to my heart now, but what I learned from the situation is how TO be a better mother to my kids. My baby who is almost 10 months old bli ayan harah is such a love to me and I am scared all the time that I will act to him like my mom acted to me, so I am conscious of it always.
You will also learn how you do and don’t want to act when you are a mother. Your parents love you, unfortunately you were dealt a tough hand but hopefully Hashem has beautiful things in store for you!! How much longer do you have until you will go to seminary or school if you choose college?