March 15, 2013 4:14 am at 4:14 am #608614
I understand my mother is under stress at her job and with peseach on the way. But i just dont know what to do at this point. tonight my mother asked me to clean something adn i did,she then went back and looked at it and exploded at me, she grabbed me by my shirt and ripped it,at that point i just culdnt take it i knew im not supposed to talk back like i learned in school in but i couldnt help it i said “thanks for ripping my favorite shirt” she started yelling and swearing at me telling me she rather deal with her clients who are addicted to drugs then deal with me. she through the draw at me that i cleaned and told me if i dont do things the way she wants she will happily drive me where ever i want to go to live.
parents i beg you,please tell me what to do in my situation,what are you asking of a child when this happend,what do i go and do??what do i say to my mother??? thank you in advanced for awnsweringMarch 15, 2013 4:34 am at 4:34 am #939333
Last time this happened to me I texted my mom and told her I have decided to live alone. The reply: great! My reply: your bags are on the porchMarch 15, 2013 4:36 am at 4:36 am #939334
ouchhhh. If this is not regular, then your mother obviously snapped under pressure tonight. And it is NOT an excuse.
I’m scared for the responses you will get because i know many will say call the police for abuse, and i don’t think that’s a good idea. If this is not her normal behaviour, give her a day or two to cool off and see if she comes to apologize. If not, perhaps bring it up in a non-accusatory way, when you are calm and can stay calm. Don’t accuse, don’t use ”you”. Explain you were hurt and surprised, and see what she says. If applicable, ask your father for advice.
That’s not acceptable behaviour, even if someone is under stress though. Sending a hug…March 15, 2013 4:37 am at 4:37 am #939335popa_bar_abbaParticipant
So, first poster has an abusive parent. Second poster responds that his parent is even more abusive.
Sammy: your experience is also illegitimate, because some people have parents who lock them in cages.
talmud: I’m drunk; this happens every now and again.March 15, 2013 4:39 am at 4:39 am #939336
And the 4th poster can’t get a jokeMarch 15, 2013 4:49 am at 4:49 am #939337🍫Syag LchochmaParticipant
Your mother’s behavior is inexcusable. Period. You may be used to it, and you are asking people how you can fix it by doing the right thing but how will that help? Her behavior is because SHE has a problem, not because you were wrong.
I am so sorry for you, when you are old enough I hope you can find a way to move out and dorm or board somewhere where you can have role models who will teach you skills to help you raise your own family. It may sound extreme, but so sounds the situation. I wish you hatzlacha.March 15, 2013 4:58 am at 4:58 am #939338BYbychoiceMember
wow,im so sorry,i hope things get better for you!March 15, 2013 5:01 am at 5:01 am #939339
thank you all for being so nice about this! (sammy16- pretty funny actually thnx) saysme- i was worried about responses from people,thats why i waited so long to ask advice and yes unfortuatnly its more then once in a while things like this happend. the real problem is i have already talked to her in a calm setting when we where both unemotional, and it continues to happen, she admitted to hitting me other times as easy as saying it like nothing wrong,im at a loss,i know things happen and i know people have it so much worse,but i just get really hurt by these things. through out my years friends have always said they look forward to shabbos as a break from the week i always thought they where joking,cause in my house i dread it cause it means more yelling at me and somethimes things being throne,i said something ot my brother about shabbos and said he always felt the same way about dreading it…March 15, 2013 5:12 am at 5:12 am #939340playtimeMember
LOLMarch 15, 2013 5:25 am at 5:25 am #939341
Glad someone got a laughMarch 15, 2013 5:36 am at 5:36 am #939342
sammy- it really made me laugh,wich was really good cause not much seemed funny tonight unitil i read your reply!March 15, 2013 6:25 am at 6:25 am #939343
its not about her admitting it, its about her hearing what it does to you,and about her coming to recognize the wrong in it. This is not a healthy environment. If you can, get invited out for shabbos to friends, relatives, whether for a meal or to sleep there. Spend your shabbos afternoon at friends at least.
It’s not something to lightly dismiss. Ask a rov and/or a therapist for advice and help. and do NOT allow your mother to grab your shirt or chas v’shalom hurt you or throw soomething at you. That is not part of kibud av v’aim.March 15, 2013 2:30 pm at 2:30 pm #939344🐵 ⌨ GamanitParticipant
aproudbyg- when you talk to your mother in a calm setting does she explode? If not, perhaps explain to her gently that you can’t continue living like this. If she doesn’t go to parenting classes and therapy for her anger management issues you will go to Ohel to find you a foster home. Say it really nicely though, and full of compliments for her good times. It’s very possible that she has a psychiatric disorder such as bipolar that can be causing this.March 15, 2013 4:07 pm at 4:07 pm #939345danielaParticipant
What a situation.
How old are you and your brother? Are there other relatives or friends who can help? Even going away for a few days and getting a break can be very helpful.
Always keep in mind that this is not normal, and that it’s not a curse you are bound to repeat, you and your brother will no doubt be wonderful spouses and parents and this experience will make you even more sensitive, although, I realize, it will be a scar that does not go away. Your mother must be suffering a lot, try to have compassion if you can, may we never be in her shoes.March 15, 2013 4:35 pm at 4:35 pm #939346
@aproudbyg glad u could still laugh. I’m not gonna advise u on what to do cause I have no clue.March 15, 2013 4:50 pm at 4:50 pm #939348shnitzyMember
And sammy…well done. really.March 15, 2013 4:54 pm at 4:54 pm #939349
Unfortunately, as a child, there’s very little that you can do. But, that doesn’t mean that this kind of behavior should continue. Please find an adult that you trust, even someone in your extended family to confide in. Make sure they’re ‘getting it’, and this adult should be someone you trust and someone responsible enough that this shouldn’t backfire on you or hurt you in any way.
Please, please keep in mind, that no matter what mom does, it’s about her, not about you. So don’t beat yourself up that maybe there’s reason for this or maybe you did something wrong, and most important, YOU DO NOT DESERVE THIS. Good Luck.March 15, 2013 5:13 pm at 5:13 pm #939350WIYMember
Why did your mother explode (not that it is ok for her to do so) was it because you didn’t do a good job?March 15, 2013 6:50 pm at 6:50 pm #939351fkellyMember
Regardless of whether she did a good job or not, her mother is not justified for exploding.March 15, 2013 7:35 pm at 7:35 pm #939352
thank you all for the support! it feels good knowing other people care what happen to me! i dont really have the option of going out places at friends or relatives,i live in a smaller comminty ad my classd always made fun of me for a dibling of mine being otd, my mother not really covering hair my father not oging to shul…adnd i dont have any religouse cousins (if even considered halachilicly jewish) its me and 3 older brothers, i had cleaned a draw and my mother picked something over it and something fell in from what she was holding,then she got upset cause she thought i did itMarch 15, 2013 8:18 pm at 8:18 pm #939353
I got shnitzy’s approval!! This is a big day for me! Really!March 15, 2013 8:41 pm at 8:41 pm #939354
aproudbyg- i am boiling inside that your class would make fun of your bro being otd, or about your oarents. What chutzpah, how not understanding, how painful. The fact that you nonetheless view yourself as a proud by girl is amazing. You have inner strength that will get you through pain and bring you far. Do you have any friends from school or the neighborhood you could go to for shabbos, meals or afternoon? Are any of your brothers married and living near you? I’d even suggest finding a family who takes guests for shabbos from shabbat.com if you can. Find yourself a mentor please. A teacher or neighbor you respect, a rav or rebbetzineyou can ask your questions to and ask for advice from (they may also have guests for shabbos meals and be glad to have you join them), a psychologist. Someone you can discuss this with who can practically help or advise.
It sounds like you already do, but know you are not at all responsible for your brother’s or parents’ actions. They have their challenges and tests, you have yours, and their actions don’t affect who you are, and you NEVER ever deserve to have someone rub those in your face. Besides the fact that noone of your friends has the right to even begin judging them.
You really sound strong and it impresses me. And i’m glad your sense of humor is still intact :). It’s one of the best tools for getting through tough situationsMarch 17, 2013 3:06 am at 3:06 am #939355
Firstly, I applaud you for taking the first step and speaking out about this situation. It takes an enormous amount of strength to face it and actually talk about it, even anonymously.
Second, if you have a school guidance counselor, consider yourself lucky and talk to her ASAP.
The school bullying is inexcusable and should not be tolerated. The whole situation at home and with your siblings is not in your control and the last thing you need now is to suffer from bullies.
You have a bit more power than you think you do. You just need guidance from a responsible adult who cares enough to help you through this in a way that you will not get hurt. I suggest you do this very soon. It will be very hard at first but worth it.
I urge you to keep in mind that this is not connected to you or anything that you did or didn’t do.March 17, 2013 3:08 am at 3:08 am #939356
This is unfortunately way more common than you think. Whether she did or didn’t do a good job doesn’t make a difference.
Mothers like that always find what to make a fuss about. If they don’t find, they create. It’s a part of it…March 17, 2013 3:53 am at 3:53 am #939357
saysme- again thank you so much for your kind words! the fact that this is happenign in my life wouldnt change the fact of me being proud im a by girl,if anything it has helped to strenghten me,i know Hashem is always there for me and all this is from Him and its for my good, its just sometimes hard for me in my day to day life when it actually happens to know where to turn to physically. my brothers are not married and not living here with me, the thing is about going places for shabbos is i dont really have any places to go and if i would my mom gets upset saying things like i blame her for my life being so bad,and im emberrased by them so i dont want to eat with them…so it would just make things worse! i have found mentors but htey dropped me for a kid`whos parents got divoreced and wasnt taking it well lol it was two diffrent years and they both dropped me for the same girl! thank you for believeing my friends are wrong with saying those things. and yes my humor has always been intact i have been the one who always jokes around in my class i guess i never really htought about why haha
sharp-thank you,yes it was hard but i just want help so much,i wish i had a school counsler but my schoool is so small we dont have anythign like that,thank you i have actually told my principal but she says its just girls being girls so oh well,what can you do, i do try to keep in mind its not me but its hard sometimesMarch 17, 2013 4:08 am at 4:08 am #939358
sadly, i can relate to parts of what your saying. And letting it just continue as is is not a good idea. If a ‘mentor’ can drop someone… Yoish. Find a new, better mentor please. Regardless of your mothers comments, you should still try to spend time away from home. She’s just insulted in her low self-esteem and expressing it in the way she knows best- hurting or insulting others. Do you have any friends from school? Can you go to a brother? A mentor, a psychologist or social worker, a rav or rebbetzin. Its my best advice, and the sooner the better. You can also call one of the many jewish help-lines just to vent, for advice, for suggestions, for help. You can remain anonymous, so it’s worth trying. It’s hardest to go through things alone. And i wish noone had to go through what your going through. Keep davening for changes and help, and keep strong.March 17, 2013 4:14 am at 4:14 am #939359
I’m afraid your principal doesn’t understand the situation. Did you talk to her about the bullying or about mom? Your principal should be able to help you with the bullying. Please speak to her again. Tell her EVERYTHING these girls say, even if you’re uncomfortable. Tell her she’s the only one that can help you with this and it’s a big responsibility. If she says anything along those lines again, ask her if she knows someone else that you could talk to…
Don’t give up. Keep going.
There’s no way this bullying is ok, or a girl’s thing, or a part of school, etc.. It’s not. It’s definitely not a healthy girl’s thing.
Try to show these girls that you’re stronger than them and that it doesn’t bother you when they bully you. This sometimes works like magic. Good luck.March 17, 2013 5:12 am at 5:12 am #939360
saysme- im sorry that you can relate,i defiently feel for you! iknow i cant let it contineu but how? how can i be one of those kids that tells people their parents arent good to them? how can i do that to my mom and family? how can i tell people how im burning inside? yes they did drop me and its honestly hard for me to trust another person,i have tried but…i do have a intern this year at my school and i might just tell her everything in a few weeks,i just want to make sure its a strong connection cause i cant be dumped again it would just be ot much! i know its the best advice anyone can give and i thank you for it honestly from the bottom of my heart! i might call a helpline…well seei hope noone will have to go throught it either and i will keep strong i know i can deel with it cause its from Hashem i trust Him.
sharp- i did tell her,i told her eveyrthing i could think of from over the years,and she says its natural for kids to be that way,i dont know what else to tell her! i mean at one point when we where younger we had a social worker come ot my class we where so bad,but i dont even have friends anymore just classmates! i told her shes the only one and she just said things will get better,oh well its our of my hand what else can i do. atleast i know i wont do it to others,
ive ignored them but it doesnt matter what i do,they just see it as something they can talk about cause it DOESNT bother me soooo either way lol 🙂March 17, 2013 5:57 am at 5:57 am #939361
your principal is so completely wrong and responsible for bullying she allows to continue. I know there are organizations fighting against bullying and starting programs in schools and getting involved. Long overdie in every school imo. re bullies, i’d actually advise speaking up, interrupting if they stop, telling them calmly but firmly how it is loshon hora, motzi shem ra, onaas devorim, halbanas ponim. How you’d appreciate if they’d stop the verbal abuse.
I know, having been dropped by a mentor breaks your trust. It cuts deep. If this intern isnt sticking around… She might not be there after the school year for you. A rav/rebbetzin, a psychologist, a social worker. They’ll stick around longer. If there’s a neighbor you trust, who won’t be scared to help our. You can ask for names from the help lines too. Relief. Yitty leibel help line. And many more.
I know exactly what you mean about feeling its betraying your family to talk. And it kept me from finding someone. For too long. Until damage had been done. And i’m begging you not to wait until then. Be proactive, and prevent more pain. Don’t be one of those kids who tells everyone about their family, no. But find one or 2 people who can guide you, preferably who will work together (this will also likely help that they stick with it). If one can be a rav, he can give you psakim, tell you what you can do, what you can say, without guilt. He can tell you if you should spend time away despite the guilt, perhaps even move out, for a week or a year. Find someone. It will take a huge load off your chest that you don’t even realize is there.
And most of all, do not feel guilty. Be careful with your actions, yes. Don’t hurt if it can be avoided. Protect yourself. Get help. Feel bad, pity your mother. Look at her with pity and compassion for what she is, and what she can’t see to break out of yet, instead of with anger if you can. But to feel guilty for taking care of your safety and health, for protecting, for getting a better environment and outlook in which you can grow more solidly and stronger, that is something to not feel guilty about. And the guilt can be, and is, debilitating, and it will stop you from doing what you know you should. But it is yetzer hora. Recognize it for what it is, and you can fight it. The only time guilt is good is when it is proppelling you to a change and growth, like in teshuva. If its holding you back, or weighing you down, let it go. Its hard work to overcome, start now while you’re in bais yaakov. Its much easier then.
And don’t wait too long if you can. The longer you wait and debate, the more excuses and deterrants the yetzer hora can plant in your mind.
I had something else thats slipped my mind… If i remember i’ll come add it.March 17, 2013 6:16 am at 6:16 am #939362
saysme- i cant tell you how much your words are helping me,i know what your saying is true,and the best advice i cant follow but i just dont know,its just so hard to think of myself doing that i cant think of someone i can trust so much, my rav wont even talk to me he ignores me so i cant talk to him and my principal has so much going on already i cant ask her for help . i know the intern may not be sticking around but i know she is someone i cant relate to and lok up to for who i want to be when im older and i know she is good at keeping up because she does with other campers much younger then her so i think that really just leaves her,i ahvent really felt this way about anyone in a while im just scared in general of trusting again im really scared,maybe its me that its to much for them to bare?!?!
i do pity her,because one minuete we are laughing and talking about htings then she yells at me to go do somethithign ishould be doing the hwole time, what if she gets angry for me telling someone our family problems? i have cried more nights then i cant count in my life and i dont know if i can be the cause of our familys porblems being known by others,i have spent so many years putting a smile on and being so happy so noone would know i was dying insideMarch 17, 2013 7:01 am at 7:01 am #939364
it’s hard, it is. Very. But so neccesary, and so helpful. Your rav ignores you when, in the street? Many do. But if you call and ask to speak to him, he definitely will speak to you, and if you want, meet you, and will help guide you. Or perhaps a different rav in the city.
The intern may be helpful then. If she can practically help too. Or else, a psychologist or social worker, as scary as that sounds. Its a sad truth, but your ‘mentors’ may have not known how to help, and thus felt beyond their scope, so left, or maybe they didnt really comprehend your hurt. Either way, it doesnt seem right at all. Maybe if such a thing happened again, you should pursue them again after a week break. But though its a hard situation, its not the hardest out there. A psych..will tell you straight out right away if they thought they cldn’t help.
You’re expressing thoughts, feelings, emotions, questions that ive had and have still
You might be surprised though to find out that one or more of your brothers found someone to talk to also. Telling one or two trustworthy people should not make it public knowledge at all, so it’s not exposing your family. On the unlikely chance it would? Then you could all get help and guidance to become a happier, close family, something noone will regret 5 yrs down the road.
The tears should not have to continue, though that ability to shut it off and smile is a very important one- keep it. A fake smile releases endorphins too! Your mother will be upset that you told about your family? Yes if she finds out, she may be. Mine was. Very. But its still worth it. And necessary. Her anger is from hurt, fear, but safety, care, strength comes first. You come before her broken emotional reactions. They arent coming from a healthy frame of mind, right? Chayecha kodmin. Don’t let the pain go on and on.March 17, 2013 7:59 am at 7:59 am #939365
yes he ignores me daily when i say good morning to him or anything(our shul is in same building as bais yaakov) and he is the only rav in my commmunity its very small,i will tell my intern and hope she can help me,if not i will call a hotline or something else i will hopefully get this taken care of and soon, i know she doesnt do it out of anger tome,i just dont want to worsen it or let her think i blame her,i feel as a dissapointment to her cause thats how she views me and i dont want ot give her reason to believe that, i thank you so much for helping me like htis,its good to know others feel the same way and im not just crazyMarch 17, 2013 11:41 am at 11:41 am #939366
Aproudby, ah this post is making me cry! I wish for a minute we were not anonymous and I could invite you to spend shabbosim with my family. Unfortunately I can relate,more than I want to admit. I never talk about it to anyone, but my friends that I still have from elementary school sometimes see how close I am with my mother now and ask ” how did that happen?” My mother used to be very similar to yours, hitting me, throwing things at me, being my best friends one day and the next telling me she wishes I wasn’t born. The thing is.. She was depressed for a long time and suffered from anxiety. I’m not excusing it but she dealt with a lot of issues growing up and didn’t learn how to handle pressure etc and never got help for her depression until I was a bit older. My mother happens to be an amazing person and we are So close now. She is on meds and honestly since iV been married we haven’t really had fights or problems. My husband sometimes says that he can’t imagine the things I tell him about how it used to be because she is so different.
Ill tell you that I used to cry in my room and beg Hashem to make her stop and I would hate her inside. You are so brave and I know I don’t know
You but I am so proud of you for being so strong. I think your mother needs help and I really don’t think things will chance until admits that.. Where is your father in all this?March 17, 2013 4:29 pm at 4:29 pm #939367HealthParticipant
aproudbyg – A lot of us have gone through the same thing. One thing I learned from my parents -how never to treat my kids. I’m not excusing her behavior, but unfornunately this is quite common. One more issue in the Frum community that has been swept under the rug.
Try finding a mentor; speak to your Rov, if you have one. Also, call Ohel and speak to their Helpline and ask for help.March 17, 2013 4:38 pm at 4:38 pm #939368
morahrach-i apoligize for making you cry and remebering things like this,im so sorry you went through that,i cant imagine the situation for you and how you felt at the time:( with me even my friends dont know,i never told them because i was to ashamed when i saw how their families where, you see i never had my friends over since the age of 6 or 7, my father has been depressed and medical things wich caused him not ot be perfectly functional and so my mother and him would yell constianlty at each other swearing throwing things…i never knew when ot expect it so i couldnt take control of my life with my friends… at night i didnt get sleep because mostly every night they would be screaming at eachother and i could hear things being thrown and they kept bringing up divorce…and i hat to admit it and it makes me cry at this moment but at times in my childhood i would listen to their fighting in my bed and cry to Hashem and beg Him that if it would help for my parents to divorce so i could be normal. thank you for being proud proud of me,im happy to know one person is,its really nice to know:)March 17, 2013 5:08 pm at 5:08 pm #939369HealthParticipant
aproudbyg -“at night i didnt get sleep because mostly every night they would be screaming at eachother and i could hear things being thrown and they kept bringing up divorce…and i hat to admit it and it makes me cry at this moment but at times in my childhood i would listen to their fighting in my bed and cry to Hashem and beg Him that if it would help for my parents to divorce so i could be normal.”
Unfortunately, a lot of sick marriages don’t divorce. Birds of a feather flock together. The people who convinced my wife to leave me have worse marriages than I ever had. They also abuse their kids, which me and my wife never did. The reason they don’t divorce is simply because they have every excuse in the world for their behavior, but once they divorce the world sees what they are and the most important thing for them is their outside appearances.March 17, 2013 5:37 pm at 5:37 pm #939370
Aproudbygirl. Oy Oy we are so similar! My parents too contemplated divorce ( about once a day) and I used to pray that they would. Somewhere down the line things got better and they seem happier now then they ver did when I was growing up.. I will bet that it has to do with my mother getting help and medicine. I have younger siblings, much younger, and when I went to college/got engaged I was so scared to leave home because I was kind of their savior, but my sister says my mom is a lot better to her. I used to “hate” my mom and I once, Hashem forgive me, was so mad at her for
Hitting me and throwing a sneaker at me that outloud I wished something very horrible on her, and no matter what she ever did I regret it still now. I hope Hashem forgives me for saying what I said. She is so close to my heart now, but what I learned from the situation is how TO be a better mother to my kids. My baby who is almost 10 months old bli ayan harah is such a love to me and I am scared all the time that I will act to him like my mom acted to me, so I am conscious of it always.
You will also learn how you do and don’t want to act when you are a mother. Your parents love you, unfortunately you were dealt a tough hand but hopefully Hashem has beautiful things in store for you!! How much longer do you have until you will go to seminary or school if you choose college?March 17, 2013 6:09 pm at 6:09 pm #939371mitzvahgirl613Participant
oy aproudbyg im not sure if you want pity but i feel sooo terrible for u!! this must be soo hard for u to face each day and i b”H dont know what youre going through but like morahRach said if this wasnt anonymous i would invite you to stay at my house for as long as u needed. i really feel for you and i will bli neder daven for u each day that it shud b btr and e/t will turn out alright and ur mother will get the help she so desperately needs! hang in thr ur doing gr8 keep up the gr8 work!!!March 17, 2013 6:10 pm at 6:10 pm #939372
health-im sorry for you:( i understand what your saying i just really wish with all my heart it wasnt like that,but i guess thats what Hashem has made humans like.
morahrach-yes it is a horrible situation i wish i could just open my eyes and wake up from,the throught of my parents divorcing just doesnt seem as bad as i know it should,i know it should send shivers down my spine and cause me to drop to my knees so they wont but i dont think i could ever bring myself like that! i just know it would be simplier for me,yes raise more problems but better for other things. when your mother got help,why is it she knew she needed?did you tell her your feelings? i can feel for your siblings,im the youngest and when my brother left to go to yeshiva we both knew what it ment for me,and things only worsend because sometimes when my parents fought we would go in a room together and talk,but then i was on my own just listening to them,and it happend more and more infront of me,yes i unfortuatnly have done similiar when my mom throught something at me sayng that a girl in my school whos mother died would never treat her mother like that i whispered i wish i was that girl,may Hashem forgive me and help me to never feel that way again,and the awful part is i really felt that way:( and it makes me feel like im a horrible person!, may your baby only grow up knowing and feeling your love for him,im sure you wont repeat those things to him you know the pain, i know i will know for later what not to do,but things like visiting my parents when im older and with kids IY’H scare me,i dont think i could ever expose my kids to that and i know that now! hopefully another year in by then seminary, the thoguht of another year just hurts me,and my mother wants me to go to college in my home state and live at home after sem,im at a loss for words at teh thought honestlyMarch 17, 2013 6:53 pm at 6:53 pm #939373
when you get to the point of college, you’ll deal with that. Whether going out of town, or living alone, or dorming, etc. But don’t worry about it now.
Your father should be going to a psyc and on meds, and your mother should be getting couselling for it, and for her own issues. And you should be getting the support you need, and care too.
Re rav, call him or his wife if you prefer, say you have to discuss an issue and when is a good time. Tell them all that’s going on. They are in a position to speak to your parents and try to get them to go for help, and they won’t for sure need to let them know you even spoke to them. This is in addition to a mentor, not instead of. Your parents cant be happy with how things are. The rav can help them change it, and a mentor can help for you. It’s doing them a favor, taking the step they’re afraid to.
Re divorce- it does NOT have to make you scared and begging for it to not happen! You are all unhappy as is, don’t feel bad about hoping change could bring improvement.
Like morahrach mentioned, for some reason, in
many of these situations, the relationships changes with marriage. I cannot understand how it makes sense, but it happens. Suddenly mothers who were hated by their daughters are suddenly close. Seems illogical, and noone thinks it will happen, but it does. Something to hope for…March 17, 2013 8:44 pm at 8:44 pm #939374
mitzvahgril613- you are so sweet,thank you so much for the support! thank you for having me in mind if you do,im sure it will help 🙂
saysme-yes he is,he has told me he has and is going but he feels it may not even always work, i will think of talking to my rav,im not sure if i reallly have enough guts to,im just terrigied of the thought but i know i need to and it will be good,i will be getting a mentor im trying to find one that can help me and i really think i have so im davening it should all work out.
thank you again everyone for the support,i cant put into words how it makes me feel to know there are people who actually care about me and what happens in my life:)March 17, 2013 10:12 pm at 10:12 pm #939375
maybe he needs a different one….
there are ppl who care about you, and don’t you forget it!
KIT if you have any more questions, want support, or just want to vent. hatzlocha rabba!!March 17, 2013 10:25 pm at 10:25 pm #939376
i wont forget it,and i will rember if i need i can come here, thanks:)March 18, 2013 12:48 am at 12:48 am #939377fkellyMember
Do you know any people (friends or kids in your school) who also have issues with their parents? Thats one of the only things that keeps me going at this point, the friends that can really understand what I’m going through and just be there for me.March 18, 2013 1:15 am at 1:15 am #939378sw33tMember
I relate to these posts so much. it breaks my heart to see that nothing ever changes in this world… morahrach has got to be older then me, and i’m older then you, and we all have the same story.
keep holding on, and remember Hashem loves and cares for you. He is watching over even when it feels like he’s not.March 18, 2013 1:55 am at 1:55 am #939379
what’s painfully shocking is the number of us on here with the similar stories. Even in the small current cr population, too many relate. At least let it be an eye-opener for those who deny the pain and problems that go on in our community even. May Hashem speedily erase ALL the pain and suffering of all forms from all.March 18, 2013 2:57 am at 2:57 am #939380
i know none of my classmates or schoolmates have these problems,some have difrent issues.
its odd how many there are with similar stories yet we all felt alone with noone to turn, its just the world unfortunetly, i know its all from Hashem and i accept it its just hard to actually relate to it,i have written a poem about it to help me thorught it so when i read it i feel better,it helps a bit.
saysme-amen!March 18, 2013 3:29 am at 3:29 am #939381
Sw33t, I’m 24. I know it sounds crazy how drastically different my situation got but things can change. That being said I spent so much of my childhood wondering why I always upset my mother and why my friends moms never threw things at them and told them they hated them. It is eery how many stories are similar here. It’s kind of a nice support system but I wish things would change and people would get the help they need.March 18, 2013 3:29 am at 3:29 am #939382
aproudbyg- did u say poetry :)? If poems speak to you, go to the thread ‘att poetry people’. Read it from the beginning (really pg 3 maybe? But i cant remember). Maybe it’ll even get revived. Used to be a chevra of us, who all were in or knew pain, expressed through poems and not, giving support, listening, caring, understanding… It helped me through some tough patches. Many of those posters left, but i wish they were still here and the thread was still going. It was amazing. It’s long, but use it as distraction from the yelling perhaps. It’s a very emotional and powerful thread, it’s witnessed posters ups and downs, and contains both support, similar feelings, and ideas. Perhaps it can also speak to youMarch 18, 2013 4:23 am at 4:23 am #939383
saysme-thanks,im actually apart of it,i have added some of my own things to it,i do enjoy the thread:) before i made a account i asked someone i knew to put some of my poems up for me cause i wanted to give back because it helped me:) mine arent really that good but theres one i made specificaly to remind me its all good and from Hashem
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