How many Ohr Someach characters does it take to change a lightbulb?
Three. One to buy a new CFL bulb from the store, a second to change the lightbulb and a third to tell everyone that Jews have always used CFLs since matan Torah.
How many RIETS guys does it take to change a lightbulb?
One two change it and one to change it and one to argue with him about what this and that obscure rishon would say.
How many Lubavitchers does it take to change a lightbulb?
The lightbulb never died.
How many Hungarians does it take to change a lightbulb?
349, one each for every bulb in the chandelier.