I am convinced that some of the voices here that are taking seemingly opposite approaches are all missing the point. There may be little to no justification for the existence of hangout spots. Regardless, to approach this problem by banning them is totally immature, let alone futile. We’re all missing the forest for the tree. What preserves a child remaining on the derech is the genuine love for Yiddishkeit in the way it was transmitted from the adult generation. And that, my dear friends, is becoming nearly obsolete. Parents are busy, harried, and pressured. Mechanchim are usually poorly trained, overburdened with work inratio to their meager salaries, and are more likely to get sucked into the discipline battle. There is too little occurring that should make Yiddishkeit a desirable thing to our children. Yeshivos are more interested in compelling my kids to conform to some uniformed standard, and almost disinterested whether he is developing a love for HKB”H and His Torah. There is likewise a preoccupation with making the receipt of tuition monies a priority to his schooling, proven by the ease in which he will be denied entry to the building if there is financial hardship and an outstanding balance. If my kid has the “right” look, he is welcome. If he wears the wrong shirt, yarmulka, glasses, or shoes, his learning becomes irrelevant. Some attack such patterns as hypocrisy. Perhaps. I attack them as a form of abuse, and I consider those who push away these children as rotzchim. No one has convinced me that such exclusions are Ratzon Hashem. So why do these “rules” continue?
Yes, we have abandoned HKB”H in this quest to have the greatest yeshivos, with the most respectable images. Are these mosdos producing gedolim or just robots who somehow tolerated this charade, or managed to develop Ahavas hashem despite the best efforts to scuttle it?
Our attempts at “Sur mai’ra” are failing miserably. Have we skipped over the need for “Asei Tov”?