danish123
You have expressed yourself in a quite articulate manner and I (late 40’s male)) truly believe you are correct on many points.
Most medical people will confirm that teenage males with their raging hormones constantly have thoughts of the opposite gender. It is normal. The Torah in its infinite wisdom advises to focus on learning which will divert the individual away from further thinking or even acting on those thoughts. It also discourages unnecessary contact with the opposite gender. This advice is valid for the balance of the individual’s life.
For those learning Daf Yomi, earlier in Eruvin, the Gemara relates an anecdote where Bruria (wife of R” Meir) berated someone for speaking one extra word to a woman. It is interesting to note that Bruria was so confident of her ability to resist temptation that she allowed herself to be put to the test. She failed and was so distraught that she committed suicide. The Chazal were smarter from all of us when they advise “Ein apotropus leraayos” – there is no viable defense to forbidden relationships.
However, like everything else in life balance is the key. If someone is visiting a friend on Shabbos there is nothing wrong in saying good Shabbos to his friend’s sister. It is only common courtesy.
Many of the problems our youth face today is the ever increasing amount of issurim constantly being issued and the ever increasing amount of hefkeirus one encounters on the street. It creates enormous pressure on top of just trying to be a kid growing up.
I is interesting to note the Gemara which relates how on the 15th of Av, unmarried girls would all dress in the same way and actually address the young unmarried men in Yerushalayim to attract their attention. This is not contradictory at all. It just shows that our holy Torah knows how we think better than we do. It also knows when it is the right time to start interacting with the opposite gender for the purposes of marriage.
Please do not place all boys in the category of being boors. I know so many fine young men that come in so many different categories, be they Yeshivish, YU or Chassidish. They are all yirei shomayim and are all ovdei Hashem in their own way. I also know many boys who are going down a path which will not have a good ending. A smart girl will quickly discern who is real or not.
Be very careful about information you receive about individuals when you start dating. Unfortunately, there are many people out there who do not fargin and will give false information either to hide something or portray a person in a certain light when they are far from that description.
Have an open mind, know what kind of person you want to spend the next 100 years with and most important daven to Hashem so you should meet your bashert in a timely fashion.