WIY: I know, you’re totally talking to Mademoiselle Marriage Expert here, but I don’t think that going into a marriage thinking like that is really going to get you anywhere.
The Chofetz Chaim (I believe) actually talks about the concept of eizer kenegdo. A wife is supposed to be an eizer, a helper, but also, when the husband needs it, she should be kenegdo, against him, if he is on the wrong path.
The words eizer kenegdo are by no means a permission slip to become the autocrat in the house and expect your wife to be nice and sweet to you if you aren’t EXACTLY the same to her.
And you’ll find that shalom bayis will be much greater if you don’t critique her food unless she asks/gives you permission.