Girls: Like a guy?

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  • #609750

    alter bochur
    Participant

    Bake him cookies. Its an old adage- the way to a guy’s heart is through his stomach.

    It’s almost never to early in the dating process to do so, as a bonus natural selection will weed out the girls who can’t bake cookies, leading to a healthier crop of girls who can.

    Many options are available: Chocolate chip, the old time classic conveys general thoughtfulness, appreciation, and admiration- all without verbal expression!

    Oatmeal, or whole wheat demonstrate health consciousness as well as being a bit yuppy.

    Oatmeal raisin can lead to trust issues also a clear signal of dislike- avoid at all costs unless your trying to break up.

    White chocolate chip craisin with or without oatmeal is a classy twist, but should preferably be mixed with the standard CC variety.

    I have yet to hear a guy not be impressed by being graced with a thoughtful batch of cookies.

    Girls- the choice is yours!

    #961122

    OneOfMany
    Participant

    you should definitely try submitting this to Cosmo

    #961123

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    What should guys do?

    #961124

    OneOfMany
    Participant

    Eat the cookies. (Unless they are oatmeal-raisin–those will probably be poisoned.)

    #961125

    OneOfMany
    Participant

    they’re like the yellow roses of cookies

    #961126

    Oh Shreck!
    Participant

    Someone’s extremely hungry. The food (or lack of it) is getting to his head.

    #961127

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    What do cinnamon buns symbolize? Cause that’s the best.

    #961128

    OneOfMany
    Participant

    Well, cinnamon means “my fortune is yours.” So they probably mean she wants to give you all her money.

    #961129

    twisted
    Participant

    I was lassoed and caught by her gift of zuccini cake early in the dating process. Its been thirty three years now, and she has not made it, nor have I eaten any since. It wasn’t bad, just like honey cake with emerald highlights, and it served its purpose.

    #961131

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    I was lassoed and caught by her gift of zuccini cake early in the dating process. Its been thirty three years now, and she has not made it, nor have I eaten any since. It wasn’t bad, just like honey cake with emerald highlights, and it served its purpose.

    hee hee

    #961132

    oomis
    Participant

    First thing I ever made for my then-boyfriend, was my mom’s one-of-a-kind cheese blintzes from scratch. I guess he wanted to see what else I could cook, as we became engaged shortly thereafter. Still cooking 36 years later…

    #961133

    Dude, you’re the man! I’m so glad somebody posted this…I am finally ready to admit that I had a lack of perfection for not seeing it as clearly as you did…congrats! (but now that I do, I’m perfect again woohoo!)

    #961134

    WIY
    Member

    I think the whole cooking or baking thing can backfire if its not that good. I think I would only marry a woman who would be open to my constructive criticism of her cooking/baking. I don’t want to eat bad food my whole life lol.

    #961135

    squeak
    Participant

    I think I would only marry a woman who would be open to my constructive criticism of her cooking/baking

    You’ve got a lot to learn my friend.

    #961136

    OneOfMany
    Participant

    Turning 13, 20, 30, 40, etc.Shas Ratzon?

    *coughDOUBLESTANDARDcoughcough*

    #961137

    Shopping613 🌠
    Participant

    U r 12????????? OOM you were joking right?

    #961138

    OneOfMany
    Participant

    I no kid

    #961139

    haifagirl
    Participant

    http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/turning-60504030-shas-ratzon#post-441878

    *coughDOUBLESTANDARDcoughcough*

    Thanks for my daily chuckle. 🙂

    #961140

    writersoul
    Member

    My cousin’s kallah made him cookies when they were dating.

    Chocolate chip. REEEEALLY good.

    They got engaged the next night.

    Now, the causality I wouldn’t swear to, but…

    BOY. WERE THEY GOOD COOKIES.

    #961142

    WIY
    Member

    OneOfMany

    I don’t think its a double standard at all. I just want someone who would want me to be honest when I have to answer the question of “honey did you like the _____? Was it too spicy/sweet/salty…?”

    I’m not a critical person but I happen to care what my food tastes like and if its a little off I will say I like it with more salt. I you can’t take that dont marry me. Ill make it clear during dating so you wont get any surprises.

    I want a girl who will want to please me and if she doesn’t want to go to the trouble of making food to my liking shes not for me. I don’t think its much to ask for and I am sure there are many eishes chayils who really want to please their husbands and understand that most men care about their food and want his true opinion. I know whenever I cook if someone says something critical, (I prefer if it is said nicely of course) I appreciate it as it helps me make the dish better the next time.

    #961143

    Chortkov
    Participant

    I think I would only marry a woman who would be open to my constructive criticism of her cooking/baking. I don’t want to eat bad food my whole life lol.

    Turning 13, 20, 30, 40, etc.Shas Ratzon?

    *coughDOUBLESTANDARDcoughcough*

    What is the double standard – The “Why would you ask for something you can’t get” or the whole critical business?

    #961144

    OneOfMany
    Participant

    haifagirl: ^_^

    WIY: That sounds very charming, but how exactly do those sentiments obviate the double standard I’ve pointed out?

    yekke2: lol very clever. It’s the latter. 😛

    #961145

    rebdoniel
    Member

    WIY,

    I agree completely. One of the downsides to being a good cook (such as myself) is that most people don’t prepare things I like very much. Perhaps I am a bit too anal about what I eat, but this is a big deal to me, too. A lot of people make amateurish errors when cooking, such as not using enough seasoning, not using enough water when boiling pasta (and not stirring it enough), not using hot enough of a pan, etc., which all result in poor-tasting food.

    B”H, kosher food has come a long way.

    #961146

    writersoul
    Member

    WIY: If she ASKS for your opinion, then fine. But if you’re dating, and she thinks it’s going great, and she decides to take time out of her day to make you a batch of her favorite chocolate chip cookies, and you taste one and your first reaction is “too sweet,” then sorry, but that goes beyond honest critique. There’s a time and place for everything.

    #961147

    rebdoniel
    Member

    In this day and age, of women’s lib, and metrosexuals, and all other kakamayme hiddushim in the realm of gender roles, I do agree that a man should consider himself blessed and fortunate that a girl would take the time to bake him or cook him something, even if it is gross.

    #961149

    yehudayona
    Participant

    RD: cockamamy or cockamamie according to Merriam-Webster.

    #961150

    gavra_at_work
    Participant

    You can get anyone to like you by feeding them a Ploughman’s Pie. Certainly a good idea in this age of the shidduch crisis. Just make sure to use the onion trick to keep them crisp. Otherwise the pie will get ruined.

    #961151

    just my hapence
    Participant

    GAW – As long as you’re not using the ginger beer trick on the guy at the same time…

    #961152

    rebdoniel
    Member

    I saw a recipe for Ploughman’s Pie just now. It looks like a tasty halavi meal to serve, and it gives me inspiration for an English-inspired meal (Ploughman’s Pie, Fish and Chips, veggie Bangers and Mash- Redwood makes LBD-supervised veggie bangers, and Spotted Dick).

    #961153

    gavra_at_work
    Participant

    GAW – As long as you’re not using the ginger beer trick on the guy at the same time…

    ginger beer -> Ploughman’s pie? Not sure of the connection. Besides, I would trust the baker to have enough self-respect not to ruin the pie, to the point where I would accept food from such members of the public without a food taster.

    #961154

    just my hapence
    Participant

    Not the pie, the trick. One trick leads to another as the saying goes…

    #961155

    Guys, if you really want to impress your shidduch date, why don’t YOU bake HER cookies? Even if they don’t turn out well she’ll be super impressed by the effort.

    #961156

    alter bochur
    Participant

    Popa- cinnamon buns represents swirling over him- or princess leia…

    #961157

    rebdoniel
    Member

    I made wonderful meals (perhaps albeit ungapatchket) and that didn’t end up working. Guys, cook for your mothers and help make shabbos at home, or cook and bring food to share with your friends. Maybe you’ll win somebody over at a shabbat dinner with your desserts or entrees.

    #961158

    OneOfMany
    Participant

    writersoul: I don’t think he should have the right to criticize at all, since he thinks his wife shouldn’t be able to criticize him.

    #961159

    “I made wonderful meals…and that didn’t end up working.”

    Obviously there is no magic button or “fix” that will land you a shidduch. It is, though, generally impressive if a guy can cook.

    #961160

    Okay, so this is all nice in theory, but practically it would be really weird to randomly ask a girl to bake me cookies at a pegishah.

    #961161

    ObstacleIllusion
    Participant

    If girl baked me cookies and gave them to me on a date, I’d let her wear flats on the next date.

    #961162

    writersoul
    Member

    rationalfrummie- you don’t ask, you see if she does it on her own.

    If she doesn’t, then

    a) she doesn’t like to bake

    b) she’s not a giving person

    or

    c) she doesn’t read the Yeshiva World Coffee Room. By far the most fair and logical assumption.

    OOM: To be fair, his last sentence makes it seem like he wouldn’t be TOO devastated and heart-broken if someone told him his food needed salt :).

    My thing was pretty much just meant in general.

    #961163

    WIY
    Member

    writersoul

    “WIY: If she ASKS for your opinion, then fine. But if you’re dating, and she thinks it’s going great, and she decides to take time out of her day to make you a batch of her favorite chocolate chip cookies, and you taste one and your first reaction is “too sweet,” then sorry, but that goes beyond honest critique. There’s a time and place for everything.”

    Yes I agree I wouldn’t say it on the spot. But maybe at a later time I would say the something like, “I think your delicious cookies would taste even better with less sugar…”

    #961164

    WIY
    Member

    OneOfMany

    I am ok with my my wife giving me constructive criticism when necessary as long as its not too often and done tactfully. It is a wife’s job to be a “helpmate” according to our tradition. However if she berates her husband and is a nasty critical woman shes obviously not helping anybody.

    #961165

    ObstacleIllusion – u so funny! 😉

    #961166

    ObstacleIllusion
    Participant

    shatier.than.you – Thank you. I have to say though, I’d really only consider it and by that I mean I’d plan a date where she’d wear flipflops.

    #961167

    writersoul
    Member

    WIY: I know, you’re totally talking to Mademoiselle Marriage Expert here, but I don’t think that going into a marriage thinking like that is really going to get you anywhere.

    The Chofetz Chaim (I believe) actually talks about the concept of eizer kenegdo. A wife is supposed to be an eizer, a helper, but also, when the husband needs it, she should be kenegdo, against him, if he is on the wrong path.

    The words eizer kenegdo are by no means a permission slip to become the autocrat in the house and expect your wife to be nice and sweet to you if you aren’t EXACTLY the same to her.

    And you’ll find that shalom bayis will be much greater if you don’t critique her food unless she asks/gives you permission.

    #961168

    OneOfMany
    Participant

    WIY: No, dictating when and where and how the criticism can be rendered does not remove the double standard. What would is saying that she is equally open to to voice whatever constructive criticism she sees fit–as it establishes the SAME standard for both parties involved.

    I think your problem here lies in your understanding of the term “constructive criticism.” You define both criticism being rendered and received in terms of only yourself–you get to decide the criteria for both. In reality, constructive criticism is a two way street. The person giving the criticism must be mindful that it is indeed constructive, and the person being criticized must be allowed to voice their opinion as what is constructive in terms of their needs. Saying that one side MUST (as a condition of marriage, as stated) be open to what the other party decides is constructive criticism sets a standard for something that cannot be called true constructive criticism.

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