June 21, 2013 7:34 pm at 7:34 pm #609750alter bochurParticipant
Bake him cookies. Its an old adage- the way to a guy’s heart is through his stomach.
It’s almost never to early in the dating process to do so, as a bonus natural selection will weed out the girls who can’t bake cookies, leading to a healthier crop of girls who can.
Many options are available: Chocolate chip, the old time classic conveys general thoughtfulness, appreciation, and admiration- all without verbal expression!
Oatmeal, or whole wheat demonstrate health consciousness as well as being a bit yuppy.
Oatmeal raisin can lead to trust issues also a clear signal of dislike- avoid at all costs unless your trying to break up.
White chocolate chip craisin with or without oatmeal is a classy twist, but should preferably be mixed with the standard CC variety.
I have yet to hear a guy not be impressed by being graced with a thoughtful batch of cookies.
Girls- the choice is yours!June 21, 2013 9:09 pm at 9:09 pm #961122
you should definitely try submitting this to CosmoJune 21, 2013 9:13 pm at 9:13 pm #961123
What should guys do?June 21, 2013 9:32 pm at 9:32 pm #961124
Eat the cookies. (Unless they are oatmeal-raisin–those will probably be poisoned.)June 21, 2013 9:42 pm at 9:42 pm #961125
they’re like the yellow roses of cookiesJune 21, 2013 9:45 pm at 9:45 pm #961126Oh Shreck!Participant
Someone’s extremely hungry. The food (or lack of it) is getting to his head.June 21, 2013 9:48 pm at 9:48 pm #961127
What do cinnamon buns symbolize? Cause that’s the best.June 21, 2013 10:01 pm at 10:01 pm #961128
Well, cinnamon means “my fortune is yours.” So they probably mean she wants to give you all her money.June 22, 2013 8:57 pm at 8:57 pm #961129twistedParticipant
I was lassoed and caught by her gift of zuccini cake early in the dating process. Its been thirty three years now, and she has not made it, nor have I eaten any since. It wasn’t bad, just like honey cake with emerald highlights, and it served its purpose.June 23, 2013 2:37 am at 2:37 am #961131
I was lassoed and caught by her gift of zuccini cake early in the dating process. Its been thirty three years now, and she has not made it, nor have I eaten any since. It wasn’t bad, just like honey cake with emerald highlights, and it served its purpose.
hee heeJune 23, 2013 2:47 am at 2:47 am #961132oomisParticipant
First thing I ever made for my then-boyfriend, was my mom’s one-of-a-kind cheese blintzes from scratch. I guess he wanted to see what else I could cook, as we became engaged shortly thereafter. Still cooking 36 years later…June 23, 2013 2:59 am at 2:59 am #961133Rabbi PerfectMember
Dude, you’re the man! I’m so glad somebody posted this…I am finally ready to admit that I had a lack of perfection for not seeing it as clearly as you did…congrats! (but now that I do, I’m perfect again woohoo!)June 23, 2013 3:07 am at 3:07 am #961134
I think the whole cooking or baking thing can backfire if its not that good. I think I would only marry a woman who would be open to my constructive criticism of her cooking/baking. I don’t want to eat bad food my whole life lol.June 23, 2013 5:15 am at 5:15 am #961135squeakParticipant
I think I would only marry a woman who would be open to my constructive criticism of her cooking/baking
You’ve got a lot to learn my friend.June 23, 2013 5:19 am at 5:19 am #961136June 23, 2013 7:23 am at 7:23 am #961137Shopping613 🌠Participant
U r 12????????? OOM you were joking right?June 23, 2013 12:06 pm at 12:06 pm #961138
I no kidJune 23, 2013 12:35 pm at 12:35 pm #961139haifagirlParticipant
Thanks for my daily chuckle. 🙂June 23, 2013 1:55 pm at 1:55 pm #961140
My cousin’s kallah made him cookies when they were dating.
Chocolate chip. REEEEALLY good.
They got engaged the next night.
Now, the causality I wouldn’t swear to, but…
BOY. WERE THEY GOOD COOKIES.June 23, 2013 9:49 pm at 9:49 pm #961142
I don’t think its a double standard at all. I just want someone who would want me to be honest when I have to answer the question of “honey did you like the _____? Was it too spicy/sweet/salty…?”
I’m not a critical person but I happen to care what my food tastes like and if its a little off I will say I like it with more salt. I you can’t take that dont marry me. Ill make it clear during dating so you wont get any surprises.
I want a girl who will want to please me and if she doesn’t want to go to the trouble of making food to my liking shes not for me. I don’t think its much to ask for and I am sure there are many eishes chayils who really want to please their husbands and understand that most men care about their food and want his true opinion. I know whenever I cook if someone says something critical, (I prefer if it is said nicely of course) I appreciate it as it helps me make the dish better the next time.June 23, 2013 10:55 pm at 10:55 pm #961143ChortkovParticipant
I think I would only marry a woman who would be open to my constructive criticism of her cooking/baking. I don’t want to eat bad food my whole life lol.
What is the double standard – The “Why would you ask for something you can’t get” or the whole critical business?June 24, 2013 4:35 am at 4:35 am #961144
WIY: That sounds very charming, but how exactly do those sentiments obviate the double standard I’ve pointed out?
yekke2: lol very clever. It’s the latter. 😛June 24, 2013 8:30 am at 8:30 am #961145
I agree completely. One of the downsides to being a good cook (such as myself) is that most people don’t prepare things I like very much. Perhaps I am a bit too anal about what I eat, but this is a big deal to me, too. A lot of people make amateurish errors when cooking, such as not using enough seasoning, not using enough water when boiling pasta (and not stirring it enough), not using hot enough of a pan, etc., which all result in poor-tasting food.
B”H, kosher food has come a long way.June 24, 2013 2:56 pm at 2:56 pm #961146
WIY: If she ASKS for your opinion, then fine. But if you’re dating, and she thinks it’s going great, and she decides to take time out of her day to make you a batch of her favorite chocolate chip cookies, and you taste one and your first reaction is “too sweet,” then sorry, but that goes beyond honest critique. There’s a time and place for everything.June 24, 2013 4:12 pm at 4:12 pm #961147
In this day and age, of women’s lib, and metrosexuals, and all other kakamayme hiddushim in the realm of gender roles, I do agree that a man should consider himself blessed and fortunate that a girl would take the time to bake him or cook him something, even if it is gross.June 24, 2013 5:49 pm at 5:49 pm #961149yehudayonaParticipant
RD: cockamamy or cockamamie according to Merriam-Webster.June 24, 2013 6:03 pm at 6:03 pm #961150gavra_at_workParticipant
You can get anyone to like you by feeding them a Ploughman’s Pie. Certainly a good idea in this age of the shidduch crisis. Just make sure to use the onion trick to keep them crisp. Otherwise the pie will get ruined.June 24, 2013 6:30 pm at 6:30 pm #961151just my hapenceParticipant
GAW – As long as you’re not using the ginger beer trick on the guy at the same time…June 24, 2013 6:44 pm at 6:44 pm #961152
I saw a recipe for Ploughman’s Pie just now. It looks like a tasty halavi meal to serve, and it gives me inspiration for an English-inspired meal (Ploughman’s Pie, Fish and Chips, veggie Bangers and Mash- Redwood makes LBD-supervised veggie bangers, and Spotted Dick).June 24, 2013 7:23 pm at 7:23 pm #961153gavra_at_workParticipant
GAW – As long as you’re not using the ginger beer trick on the guy at the same time…
ginger beer -> Ploughman’s pie? Not sure of the connection. Besides, I would trust the baker to have enough self-respect not to ruin the pie, to the point where I would accept food from such members of the public without a food taster.June 24, 2013 8:16 pm at 8:16 pm #961154just my hapenceParticipant
Not the pie, the trick. One trick leads to another as the saying goes…June 24, 2013 11:08 pm at 11:08 pm #961155jewishfeminist02Member
Guys, if you really want to impress your shidduch date, why don’t YOU bake HER cookies? Even if they don’t turn out well she’ll be super impressed by the effort.June 25, 2013 2:14 am at 2:14 am #961156alter bochurParticipant
Popa- cinnamon buns represents swirling over him- or princess leia…June 25, 2013 2:37 am at 2:37 am #961157
I made wonderful meals (perhaps albeit ungapatchket) and that didn’t end up working. Guys, cook for your mothers and help make shabbos at home, or cook and bring food to share with your friends. Maybe you’ll win somebody over at a shabbat dinner with your desserts or entrees.June 25, 2013 2:54 am at 2:54 am #961158
writersoul: I don’t think he should have the right to criticize at all, since he thinks his wife shouldn’t be able to criticize him.June 25, 2013 3:20 am at 3:20 am #961159jewishfeminist02Member
“I made wonderful meals…and that didn’t end up working.”
Obviously there is no magic button or “fix” that will land you a shidduch. It is, though, generally impressive if a guy can cook.June 25, 2013 11:45 am at 11:45 am #961160rationalfrummieMember
Okay, so this is all nice in theory, but practically it would be really weird to randomly ask a girl to bake me cookies at a pegishah.June 25, 2013 4:40 pm at 4:40 pm #961161ObstacleIllusionParticipant
If girl baked me cookies and gave them to me on a date, I’d let her wear flats on the next date.June 25, 2013 6:06 pm at 6:06 pm #961162
rationalfrummie- you don’t ask, you see if she does it on her own.
If she doesn’t, then
a) she doesn’t like to bake
b) she’s not a giving person
c) she doesn’t read the Yeshiva World Coffee Room. By far the most fair and logical assumption.
OOM: To be fair, his last sentence makes it seem like he wouldn’t be TOO devastated and heart-broken if someone told him his food needed salt :).
My thing was pretty much just meant in general.June 25, 2013 7:00 pm at 7:00 pm #961163
“WIY: If she ASKS for your opinion, then fine. But if you’re dating, and she thinks it’s going great, and she decides to take time out of her day to make you a batch of her favorite chocolate chip cookies, and you taste one and your first reaction is “too sweet,” then sorry, but that goes beyond honest critique. There’s a time and place for everything.”
Yes I agree I wouldn’t say it on the spot. But maybe at a later time I would say the something like, “I think your delicious cookies would taste even better with less sugar…”June 25, 2013 7:05 pm at 7:05 pm #961164
I am ok with my my wife giving me constructive criticism when necessary as long as its not too often and done tactfully. It is a wife’s job to be a “helpmate” according to our tradition. However if she berates her husband and is a nasty critical woman shes obviously not helping anybody.June 26, 2013 12:01 am at 12:01 am #961165shtatier.than.youMember
ObstacleIllusion – u so funny! 😉June 26, 2013 1:14 am at 1:14 am #961166ObstacleIllusionParticipant
shatier.than.you – Thank you. I have to say though, I’d really only consider it and by that I mean I’d plan a date where she’d wear flipflops.June 26, 2013 1:22 am at 1:22 am #961167
WIY: I know, you’re totally talking to Mademoiselle Marriage Expert here, but I don’t think that going into a marriage thinking like that is really going to get you anywhere.
The Chofetz Chaim (I believe) actually talks about the concept of eizer kenegdo. A wife is supposed to be an eizer, a helper, but also, when the husband needs it, she should be kenegdo, against him, if he is on the wrong path.
The words eizer kenegdo are by no means a permission slip to become the autocrat in the house and expect your wife to be nice and sweet to you if you aren’t EXACTLY the same to her.
And you’ll find that shalom bayis will be much greater if you don’t critique her food unless she asks/gives you permission.June 26, 2013 1:35 am at 1:35 am #961168
WIY: No, dictating when and where and how the criticism can be rendered does not remove the double standard. What would is saying that she is equally open to to voice whatever constructive criticism she sees fit–as it establishes the SAME standard for both parties involved.
I think your problem here lies in your understanding of the term “constructive criticism.” You define both criticism being rendered and received in terms of only yourself–you get to decide the criteria for both. In reality, constructive criticism is a two way street. The person giving the criticism must be mindful that it is indeed constructive, and the person being criticized must be allowed to voice their opinion as what is constructive in terms of their needs. Saying that one side MUST (as a condition of marriage, as stated) be open to what the other party decides is constructive criticism sets a standard for something that cannot be called true constructive criticism.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.