Vogue- My best and sincerest advice to you, is to find a Rabbi, mentor, or teacher in your community that you can have a chevrusa with, or even just to meet once or twice a week. probably someone who will understand where you are coming from, maybe someone who also was rasied more modern and joined the yeshiva veldt.
I can only imagine how hard it is for you, but I think you should really try your best to stick around the girls for now. Really truly think to yourself “will I be friends with these boys when I’m married?” hopefully not! so why are you wasting your precious time now on these boys, when Bezras Hashem in the near future you’ll find that one guy who will be the only guy you need!
I wish you much Haztzlacha!