Hakuna Matada, yasher koach; excellent post, in my humble opinion.
rebdoniel, you are “proudly MO”, and your theology maintains the mistaken notion of “halachic Judaism” as opposed to accepting “daas Torah” and being “machniah daas” to the same. No, that doesn’t mean you should turn your brain of; as as may questions as your Rabbi has time to answer and get the schar limud for doing so. But you are merely defending the indefensible, as HM posted.
However, unlike your claim that “this is only convenient for people of your mindset”, the truth is that nobody is stopping you from asking your own Rabbonim what their hashkafa is about any topic including teaching a child an umanus. This is not something exclusively allowed to traditionally orthodox Jews. The MO have decided to exclude themselves from this whole matter, and this is not only to their own detriment, it is also self-imposed.