After one year of beis medrash (meaning post high-school) in Darchei Torah, I decided to go to college. The Rosh Yeshiva, R’ Altusky, tried to talk me out of leaving. I told him I wasn’t cut out for learning, and I couldn’t sit through seder every day. He knew all this, and had even told me I wasn’t learning as well as I should be, and was wasting time during seder.
He replied that I didn’t know what college was like, and that there’s no way for someone to go to college and stay frum. He said the only way for a Jewish man to stay frum was to stay in yeshiva and learn. When I told him, again, that I didn’t enjoy learning all day, and it was time to go to college so I could make a parnassah, he said I should just keep trying, because eventually I’d grow to like it, and learning is way better than working.
When I went to R’ Bender and told him what R’ Altusky said, he told me, “Don’t listen to him. He obviously doesn’t know you well, and he just wants everyone to sit and learn whether it’s the thing for them or not. You should go to college so you could earn a parnassah – just make sure you’re in yeshiva at least part of the day while you’re in school!”