MDD, with all due respect to you, the Torah specifically says that if a man finds something unseemly in his wife, (and the Gemarah goes so far as to say even if she burns his meals), he should give her a sefer kritut, a GET. That most certainly is a mitzvas asei.
It is not a mitzvah to WANT to divorce, but once that marriage is emotionally and physically over, it is a mitzvah to give her a Get, so she is free to marry someone else if she so desires. E.g. al pi Torah, it is an aveirah to withhhold it, and a man who does so is intransigent and a rasha, even if he is a “nice guy.” He may feel he has very solid reasons for doing so, but that is for a court fight, NOT a GET fight. IMO, men who look for reasons to withhold a GET, even from the most obnoxious, disgusting, shrew of a wife, are doing it out of revenge. It certainly is not consistent with Torah observance. The fact that a woman may in some circumstances demand a GET has not made it easier for women to get one from the husbands who really don’t care about what the Torah actually mandates in these circumstances. Many men are also having problems with women who refuse to accept and use the kids as leverage. That is sad and tragic, but the GET should not be a tool in this. Go to the secular courts and fight for your rights, but give a GET when one is supposed to be given.