Reply To: Would you ever withhold a ???

aries: Poppa, in the scenario presented, does it sound to you like this man cares about Halacha???????? ?

Which scenario? My extreme scenario I presented in the OP? I’m not sure what you are referring to.

Everyone: To clear up what a HMR is.

1. A man is not allowed to give a get against the wife’s will. This is part of the chereim of Rabeinu Gershom. (If he does, I have no idea what the halacha is, but I’m guessing it doesn’t work. Sam2: I assume you mean it does work bdieved, but I’d like to know why you think that.)

2. HMR does not end the marriage. It is an exception to the cherem on polygamy.

3. When a HMR is done, the man is required to leave a get with the beis din, for his wife to pick up any time she likes.

4. There is a problem going on, whereby people pay for a service which gets a HMR for the man; the going rate is 50k. There was an article about this in one of the frum magazines several months ago. (either hamodia or mishpacha- I forget).

5. Part of the problem is that even though he leaves a get in escrow, he leaves a get which has shailos on it, totally messing over his wife.

6. Men who care about halacha do not do these shady HMR’s. For them, it is big problem when the wife refuses to accept the get.

7. Wives who refuse to accept the get typically do so for the same reasons men refuse to give it: leverage for more money and child custody.