1. To withhold a get in such a situation where the children are being held back from the father, is not only mutar, it is advised, its mandatory, how can a father give up his children like that based on false claims?
3. Even after giving a so called peaceful get his wife treats him like a peace of garbage, does whatever she would like, if he would have held off the get for a while he might have taught her a lesson or two, which is what the rabbanim were suggesting.
4. A few tips: Once you see your spouse is under the influence of her parents, friends, and is lying, you cannot depend on the marriage counselors or rabbanim, because she can be directed to take action against you behind your back. (My friend was tricked by her to leave the house for a few days until a proper separation is set up, the rabbanim took resbonsibilty that it will stay status quo!)
6. We must organize a processes where only rabbanim that have the proper experience and guidance can state opinions in a divorce situation, any rav that gets involved without meeting both sides is automatically not relevant.