I am NOT saying that either a man OR a woman should violate Jewish law.
But in this case, the effect – the end result – of breaking Jewish law is different for a man than it is for a woman.
OF COURSE, if a man wants to divorce his 1st wife, and she won’t accept a Get, and if he doesn’t get a Kosher Heter Meah Rabbanim, then he’s not allowed to remarry.
But if C”V he ignores Cherem D’Rabbenu Gershom, and he remarries anyway,
Hashem does NOT punish him as an Adulterer, and his 2nd marriage is still Kosher, and his children from the 2nd marriage are still Kosher.
If C”V a married woman is intimate with a 2nd man, Hashem punishes the 2nd man for being intimate with a married woman, and He punishes the married woman as an Adulterer. If the woman C”V has children from the 2nd man, Jewish law considers them to be Mamzerim.
The issue is NOT regarding who is more acceptable by society, in their violations.
The issue is regarding who is transgressing Torah law and who will be punished for doing so by Hashem.