DaasYochid, Amen! Thank you!
rebdoniel, marriage absolutely is hard work, but it is so, so worth the effort. My husband and I may be young, and we certainly haven’t accomplished everything we both want to as individuals. But we have had many long conversations about how we will pursue those goals while raising a family at the same time. Marriage is a game-changer and babies are also a game-changer. But it does not mean that we have to give up on all of the activities we enjoyed as singles, or that plans for the future need to be scrapped. My husband is still in graduate school, but i”yh we will support ourselves through his loan stipend and my work.
We haven’t “settled down” yet and won’t do so for another few years, but this gives us more time to carefully consider our options and decide on a community that is truly right for us. If we have been blessed with a child by the time we are ready to make a commitment, so much the better! Both my brother and I were born outside of the community my parents ultimately chose. I know many families that moved while they still had young children. Being grounded at the onset of a marriage is nice, but it’s not a necessity.
I didn’t get married out of convenience. I got married because I was truly ready to be a wife and mother, and because I found my bashert. Many of my friends are still single, and happily so. But this was totally the right decision for me. “If not now, when?”