You asked me what the difference is between being gay and having gay thoughts.
Being gay is a result of having gay thoughts, and is not, as some people claim, a genetic predisposition. It’s a ta’ava, a lust which starts as a thought and develops as a way of life, like many other ta’avos/lusts. We can control almost anything with our mind, physical and mental. The Lubavitcher Rebbe said “Tracht gut, wird sein gut”. (No, I’m not a Lubavitcher, I’m just trying to prove how strong the mind is.)