OP – meet glass house. When you are 100% certain of your own tzidkus – in all respects, then you can feel free to consider mine, or that of my wife or daughter or mother. When your shul enforces a level of morality in the business dealings of its members that approaches real Torah standards, when it ensures that not a single one of its members or those in its community goes hungry or without shelter, when it welcomes every Jew with open arms and the love we are obligated to show and feel, then, perhaps, a Rov or Rebbitzin could have the necessary and appropriate discussion with those who do not meet a halachic standard or dress – not those who don’t meet your chumra. Until then, build the walls before you put up the roof.
When did our beautiful yiddishkeit become more about finding perceived faults in your neighbors behavior or demeanor or dress and less about perfecting yourself to walk in Hashems ways? When did it fall from love and welcome to criticism and excommunication?
Focusing on fault and transgression is all fine and good when you are restricting yourself and doing your own cheshbon hanefesh. Projecting it onto others is a surefire way to drive them away from Yiddishkeit. So, if that is your objective, to pursue some sort of elitism that will make you feel superior to all those transgressors out there, mazel tov, you’ve succeeded in creating the kind of cultish environment those meshugoim in Quebec have built.