chgoachdus made a valid point that I have been feeling for a long time. Many women who go out to the workforce and pay for a caregiver, are earning so little when the scales are balanced, that it hardly seems worth leaving the baby for what they net at the end of the day. Often (and I know this to be fact), the women simply do not want to be at home with a child all day. I find that very sad, that we have come to a place intellectually and emotionally, where caring for your OWN baby is boring, a burden, unstimulating, unfulfilling, WHATEVER negative you want to attach.
I recognize, however, that despite my own personal feelings on the subject, that we always must deal with what IS and not what we would love to see be the case. My children’s generation has grown up with a very different mindset from my own, and not in any small measure due to the exhorbitant expenses attendant in living a reasonable life as a frum person. Yeshivah tuition, kosher food (especially for Shabbos and Yom Tov), etc. are ALL very high cost, and paying for these things comes WITH a high cost as well.
But if the money being earned is merely coming into one end of the wallet and going out the other to the (non-Jewish) babysitter, then at what cost are women leaving their children for the bulk of the day, when they really are benefitting only marginally financially? (Not talking about women who MUST work outside because their husband’s income doesn’t cover expenses at all).