I think I hear 613a’s point (the a is so that you’re not just a number).
Saying no can be detrimental to shidduchim because it might alienate the shadchan who thinks you’re too picky. If the boy says no, if anything, the shadchan might feel bad for you and try to find a suitable match.
The trick is to find an ethical way to do that. I don’t like your proposals also far.