Manipulating the other for your gain is very wrong, and I am shocked at DY’s laissez faire attitude about it.
I’ll take that as a compliment.
I did say it’s unethical. You obviously think it’s much worse than that, but I’m not sure we’re talking about the same thing. I am not talking about someone acting obnoxiously, only what t613t was referring to, making it appear as if there’s a difference in hashkofah. The goal, I assumed, was that both parties would tell the shadchan that it’s not a good match, rather than than it being a unilateral “dump”. I would think that the dumped party, not knowing they were dumped, would actually be spared the insult which inevitably, if undeservedly, results from being dropped.
Acting obnoxiously is almost never excusable. Except calling someone fat. 😉