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2- Why should it be worse than nazir where if a person says “i will not cut my hair or drink wine but i am not a nazir and can become tamei” he is a nazir? (Rambam hilchos nezirus perek beis)
I assume you are referring to halachos 3 and 4. Those are same case, and are talking about someone who sees a nazir and says he will have the same status as the nazir.
I don’t see why you think that means that if someone says “I am not going to be a nazir, but I will have the same issurim as a nazir has, b’neder; and I am also making a shevua that I will not cut my hair; and I am also making a shevua to sacrifice the animals a nazir has to sacrifice- but in my backyard…” that he is a nazir. I don’t see that the mishna is suggesting any sort of merger doctrine like that; I see a presumption that the guy is trying to become a nazir, like he said.