The state of New York doesn’t write kesubos for anybody. And I don’t know about you, but I didn’t get a marriage license for the societal recognition; I did it for legal reasons.
Incidentally, we had our secular marriage in New York and our religious wedding in Maryland. Both states have legalized gay marriage. But if it’s that important to you, you can have the secular marriage in a state that doesn’t recognize gay marriage (kind of like the opposite of what the gays do…)