This thread spent a bit of time right above the one titled “sometimes you just need to cry”. Everytime I saw the two together I felt like they belonged that way.
I sympathize completely. I don’t feel it at these times, I happen to be one of the crazy ones who loves three day Yom Tovim and having everything flying but I have times. Sometimes the pain (of whatever hurts) is so intense so I listen to hour after hour of shiurim. It gives me distraction but also chizuk. I do hide my pain, but not to everyone. I don’t always have the strength to say it outloud but I make sure someone knows where I’m holding.
As far as the general chaos of life, I don’t fight it, I just make sure it’s all contained and everyone is getting what they need.
Hatzlacha raba!!