Serious:
“do not take council of your fears.” – George S. Patton Jr.
“When the facts change, I change my mind. What, sir, do you do?” – John Maynard Keynes
“Extremism in defense of liberty is no vice. Moderation in the pursuit of justice is no virtue.” – Barry Goldwater
Fun:
Optimist: “The glass is half full.”
Pessimist: “The glass is half empty.”
Engineer: “Looks like you have too much glass for amount of water you have.
“”Shidduchim are like parking spaces. All the good ones are taken and the rest are for the handicapped.” (slightly modified for the Coffee Room)
“The higher the altitude the lower the multitude.”
“When I was in Africa, I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas, I don’t know.” – Groucho Marx.