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Just saw an awesome one:
“The greatest prison that people live in is the fear of what other people think.”
” nerd is not just a four letter word, it a future 6 digit salary”
“America is the Land of the Spree and the Home of the Crave.”
that one just came off the top of my head. I have better ones somewhere.
Welcome to the frum community.
“Some people are like clouds, when they disappear it brightens your day.”
And on a more serious note – “Obstacles are put in your way to see if what you want is really worth fighting for.”
The cemeteries are full of indispensable people.
The late worm avoids the early bird.
A person does not always need to be happy.
“A thief is more moral than a congressman; when a thief steals your money, he doesn’t demand you thank him”
“the second mouse gets the cheese”
“We don’t go on stage because the show is perfect. We go on stage because it’s 11 o’clock.”
Heard b’shem Lorne Michaels.
I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I’m living
So different now from what it seemed
Now life has killed
The dream I dreamed
— Les Miserables
— Jack Handey
The longest distance is between the head and heart
“If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you”
If there’s a will, there is a relative
A waist is a terrible thing to mind
Dyslexics of the World, UNTIE
when is Math going to grow up and solve its own problems
I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
EVERYONE IS BORN RIGHT-HANDED
ONLY THE GIFTED OVERCOME IT
When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane
Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.
🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂
if at first you don’t succeed, try reading the instruction manual.
Optimists invented the airplane. Pessimists invented the parachute.
Life is all about living.
Serious:
“do not take council of your fears.” – George S. Patton Jr.
“When the facts change, I change my mind. What, sir, do you do?” – John Maynard Keynes
“Extremism in defense of liberty is no vice. Moderation in the pursuit of justice is no virtue.” – Barry Goldwater
Fun:
Optimist: “The glass is half full.”
Pessimist: “The glass is half empty.”
Engineer: “Looks like you have too much glass for amount of water you have.
“”Shidduchim are like parking spaces. All the good ones are taken and the rest are for the handicapped.” (slightly modified for the Coffee Room)
“The higher the altitude the lower the multitude.”
“When I was in Africa, I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas, I don’t know.” – Groucho Marx.
“When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.”
— Attributed to Mark Twain (but probably not actually by him).
And if you like Groucho, then there’s this classic:
“Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.”
The Wolf
“The ultimate test in relationship is to disagree but hold hands.”
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