“the speaker said the reason boys say “shelo asani isha” is to thank Hashem that He has given him the ability to do more mitzvohs than girls have.”
That answer never settled well with me. You were probably also told that women are given the bracha of sheasani kirtzono meaning that G-d considers women to be ideal.
But that’s hypocritical. If women are ideal then why are men making a bracha that they are not ideal?
I’m always open to criticism and if what I have to say is not in sync with Torah hashkafa someone please correct me but I’ve come up with the following:
The primary need for males is the need to be respected and admired and the primary need for women is to be loved and wanted.
The man’s bracha addresses the need by saying ‘shelo asani isha’ thereby stating that women are inferior, and motivating the man by telling him that he has prestige if not for anything else than at least because he is a man and NOT a woman, he is already given superiority.
The woman’s bracha also adresses her need by telling her that G-d wants her. G-d, the Master of the Universe, our King and Father of all beings and creation, He wants her!
That knowledge should be sufficient motivation for each person to start off his or her day with positivity.