Hachana le shabbat is a very important part of observing shabbat properly. When we say the shir shel yom, every day of the week is described relative to shabbat; i.e. every day of the week is intended to serve as preparation, physically and spiritually, for shabbat kodesh. The gemara recounts how each day of the week, chazal would do something le kavod shabbat kodesh. This can help you a great deal.
Part of that is the minhag to have mishmar on Thursday evening. I also make many of my preparations on Wednesday and Thursday, since I often have to work on Friday, too. Wednesday, I shop for shabbat, and I also select a new recipe or dish to prepare each week. Last week, I conducted a shabbaton in shul, and prepared Hungarian potato goulash, a new recipe.
There is a widespread Chasidic and Sephardic minhag to say Shir haShirim before Mincha. Find a kabbalat shabbat minyan near you in a style that you like (when I work as a chazzan, I use Carlebach for kabbalat shabbat tehillim, and when away, I usually seek out a minyan that is Carlebach-style, since this is what I am used to and what I relate to).
Choose your outfits on Thursday night, maybe try a new accessory or something like that (I sometimes try new ties for shabbat or whatnot).
Also, on shabbat itself, take your time. Print out good divrei torah ahead of shabbat and share them at the tisch. Visit with friends, do bikur cholim on Shabbat afternoon, see if there are any classes you can go to, and whatnot. I’ve been mekabel upon myself to learn 3 halachos from the Shemirat Shabbat Kehilchata on Shabbat after lunch, and I also now learn a little from Tana Divei Eliyahu on Motzaei Shabbat after havdalah and before melaveh malkah.
You seem like a really spiritual woman, and I am always impressed when my peers strive for greater depths and higher ma’alos. All the best to you, and let us know how things work out for you 🙂