November 5, 2013 3:15 pm at 3:15 pm #611181
How can I, as a single girl, enhance my Shabbos? I’m really trying to work on this as it is one mitzvah I had a particularly hard time keeping at a certain point in my life. I feel I sort of want to make it up to Hashem by keeping Shabbos in a way that would make me grow. So my plan was that every Rosh Chodesh I would come up with one aspect that I would work on the whole month until I perfect it. However, 2 months in to the year and this decision and I’m out of ideas. Any suggestions? I really want to continue this as it makes such a difference in my week!November 5, 2013 4:11 pm at 4:11 pm #985726jbaldy22Member
daven kabbalos shabbos together with other girls. my sisters enjoy it immensely. also set aside one food/ drink that you only eat on shabbos. these are only some suggestions. I am sure that if you look at Rabbi Simcha Bunim Cohens books you may get more ideas.November 5, 2013 4:16 pm at 4:16 pm #985727Torah613TorahParticipant
For me reading the Parsha before Shabbos made a big difference.
Also, singing zmiros.
Also, going to a shiur.
Also, doing Bnos groups.November 5, 2013 4:22 pm at 4:22 pm #985728HaLeiViParticipant
Daven in Shul, if you don’t do that already. Be meticulous about Seuda Shlishis and Maleva Malka, and speak about the Parsha during the Seudos.November 5, 2013 5:37 pm at 5:37 pm #985729SaysMeMember
bring in shabbos 5 min earlyNovember 5, 2013 6:07 pm at 6:07 pm #985730jewishfeminist02Member
Finish your preparations by chatzos on fridayNovember 5, 2013 6:10 pm at 6:10 pm #985731
No chiddushim here but really the only way to appreciate Shabbos is to first learn about Shabbos, both what Shabbos is all about and its importance for a Jew, and the Halachos. Then you can come up with various ways to make it more meaningful, but first you need to know what you are doing and why and how to do it.November 5, 2013 6:10 pm at 6:10 pm #985732
No chiddushim here but really the only way to appreciate Shabbos is to first learn about Shabbos, both what Shabbos is all about and its importance for a Jew, and the Halachos. Then you can come up with various ways to make it more meaningful, but first you need to know what you are doing and why and how to do it.November 5, 2013 7:18 pm at 7:18 pm #985733
YAY! Such great ideas… I have almost the whole year planned out now. You guys seriously rock 🙂 🙂 🙂
@jbaldy – do you know the name of the book? My father is a big fan of R’ Cohen, I’ll have to check his study’s bookshelves…
@Torah613 – just curious, you read in Hebrew or English?
@haleivi – thanks! great ideas 😉
@saysme – I’m already doing that since chesvan 🙂 a little more than 5 minutes though.
@jewishfeminist – I wish!! I work till 2 on Fridays 🙁
@WIY – Yeh yeh…I gotta work on that too. Maybe jbaldy’s idea to read up about Shabbos will be helpful.
I know there is a minhag to say shir hashirim Friday night. Anyone familiar with it – like when should it be said?
Thanks again! And I’m always open to new ideas!
Now I just have to pray that I’ll have the will power to follow through with all of this.November 5, 2013 11:51 pm at 11:51 pm #985734yaff80Participant
shir hashirim should be said before Shabbos – before mincha/kabolas shabbos.
An idea: not to talk devorim betailim for a certain period of time on Shabbos?
Another idea: keep Rabeinu Tam for Motzei shabbosNovember 6, 2013 2:15 am at 2:15 am #985735TheGoqParticipant
Tell your family members how much you love them every friday night a big part of enjoying shabbos is enjoying it as part of a loving family do something special for the family bake a treat or buy a special food for all of you to enjoy, if you are not with your family for shabbos call them before shabbos to tell them.November 6, 2013 2:58 am at 2:58 am #985736jbaldy22Member
“The Radiance of Shabbos” might help. In general reading his books on hilchos shabbos and/or R’ Ribiat’s books are a good idea.November 6, 2013 3:13 am at 3:13 am #985737HaLeiViParticipant
Yaff, true, but that might be heading towards the extreme. At least start with not discussing plans for the week, or even any Vochendik topic.November 6, 2013 6:12 am at 6:12 am #985738SaysMeMember
streekgeek- wow, good for you! One more pc of advice: dont take on too many kabbalos at once. Dont add a new one until the last one is really part of you/your routine, hopefully for life.November 6, 2013 3:39 pm at 3:39 pm #985739
@yaff80 – Thanks for the info abt shir hashirim. And maybe mincha on Friday afternoon before kabbalas Shabbos will be a good idea eventually…Taanis Dibur is so not for me yet either! Maybe one day when I become holy.
@jbaldy – thanks! I’ll look in to it.
@saysme – I know I know!! Been there done that in other areas. My original post said that I’m working on this over the year. Every month I take one small step and believe it or not I feel myself getting places b”h.
Thanks everyone for your help and support!! You don’t know how much this thread helped me 😉November 6, 2013 11:18 pm at 11:18 pm #985740golferParticipant
Considering the little exchange we had in a different thread, I find this one so impressive.
Wow! I’m awed. And wish you lots of Hatzlacha!
And just by the way, agreed, Taanis Dibur is probably not the way to go.November 6, 2013 11:34 pm at 11:34 pm #985741
Just one more word of advice, if you try to do it all you will feel overwhelmed and end up doing nothing. Take one idea from this page that strikes a note with you and that you feel you really need and will really work for you (even if you feel like it is hard and feel too lazy to try) and work on that. Dont even try 2 things. Go with one good one and really do it well.November 7, 2013 4:14 am at 4:14 am #985742rebdonielMember
Hachana le shabbat is a very important part of observing shabbat properly. When we say the shir shel yom, every day of the week is described relative to shabbat; i.e. every day of the week is intended to serve as preparation, physically and spiritually, for shabbat kodesh. The gemara recounts how each day of the week, chazal would do something le kavod shabbat kodesh. This can help you a great deal.
Part of that is the minhag to have mishmar on Thursday evening. I also make many of my preparations on Wednesday and Thursday, since I often have to work on Friday, too. Wednesday, I shop for shabbat, and I also select a new recipe or dish to prepare each week. Last week, I conducted a shabbaton in shul, and prepared Hungarian potato goulash, a new recipe.
There is a widespread Chasidic and Sephardic minhag to say Shir haShirim before Mincha. Find a kabbalat shabbat minyan near you in a style that you like (when I work as a chazzan, I use Carlebach for kabbalat shabbat tehillim, and when away, I usually seek out a minyan that is Carlebach-style, since this is what I am used to and what I relate to).
Choose your outfits on Thursday night, maybe try a new accessory or something like that (I sometimes try new ties for shabbat or whatnot).
Also, on shabbat itself, take your time. Print out good divrei torah ahead of shabbat and share them at the tisch. Visit with friends, do bikur cholim on Shabbat afternoon, see if there are any classes you can go to, and whatnot. I’ve been mekabel upon myself to learn 3 halachos from the Shemirat Shabbat Kehilchata on Shabbat after lunch, and I also now learn a little from Tana Divei Eliyahu on Motzaei Shabbat after havdalah and before melaveh malkah.
You seem like a really spiritual woman, and I am always impressed when my peers strive for greater depths and higher ma’alos. All the best to you, and let us know how things work out for you 🙂November 7, 2013 2:36 pm at 2:36 pm #985743
@golfer – Thanks! You don’t know how much encouragement this thread gave me!!! And thanks for getting my name straight 😉
@WIY – Thanks for the concern, but don’t worry. I’m gonna do this nice and sloooooow….
@rebdoniel – Great ideas! Thanks! I especially like the idea about preparing clothing before Shabbos, and trying new accessories.
I’ll try to remember to post here in a few months to let you know how it’s going. Or sooner if I feel I need more ideas.
Thanks again! You guys are the best!!!
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