TAOM- I think I actually understand your necessity of belief. In some ways, that’s exactly what Judiasm is about. Faith. If we doubted every time we had questions, we wouldn’t be able to survive till we get answers. Things seem bad now, but they won’t always be. If there is one consistency in this world to depend on, it’s change. Things will change, sometimes it will be better, sometimes it won’t. But you won’t stay in this forever. I recently saw a good quote that I’d like to share with you.
“I asked for strength and God gave me difficulties to make me strong.
I asked for wisdom and God gave me problems to solve.
I asked for prosperity and God gave me brawn and brain to work.
I asked for courage and God gave me dangers to overcome.
I asked for love and God gave me troubled people to help.
My prayers were answered.”
We don’t always know why things appear so bad, but faith helps us through until we can. With time, hopefully God will show you why He gave you these particular struggles. Having been down the struggling road, I can say I don’t always know why, but I do know God does love us, and is helping us. It just might be awhile till we can really see it.