to TAOM: I'm Resisting the Urge…
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- This topic has 34 replies, 13 voices, and was last updated 9 years, 7 months ago by the-art-of-moi.
November 4, 2013 12:22 am at 12:22 am #611155
I’m holding myself back from saying something to TAOM. No, I will not say it.
Instead I’ll croak a big welcome back.
Of course tread carefully. Know there’s a lot out there. Here. Anywhere. Just, as I wrote, on-line it’s a bit harder, because one doesn’t knew with whom your engaging in dialogue. (In my humble opinion it could be discernible after many posts are written, one gets the general picture of that person’s hashkafos). Sometimes more knowledge brings to a better understanding of HaShem’s ways, better middos, better hashkafos. Sometime the opposite – ???? ??? ???? ?????. Or ????? ??? ????. So of course choose what you read wisely. Let your edele Yiddishe Neshamah not be ruined by any doubts, questions, skepticism, (scoffing) here or elsewhere.
Oh, I wanted to say “I knew it.. you’d be back”. Oops, did I say it?!November 4, 2013 1:08 am at 1:08 am #985855SaysMeMember
well that was sweet. Not.November 4, 2013 1:25 am at 1:25 am #985856🍫Syag LchochmaParticipant
If you pay attention to why she returned, you may realize that this thread is a bit insensitive and out of place.November 4, 2013 3:05 am at 3:05 am #985857
Pardon, I don’t fully understand what was so insensitive, out of place. I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings, if I hurt her’s.November 4, 2013 3:09 am at 3:09 am #985858
Little Froggie- I’m davening I’ll be strong enough to deal with everything. Thanks for the welcome back.
Syag- You’re so nice to me! It’s alright, BH Froggie didn’t see that thread so he’s just being his sweet croaky self. Don’t worry Froggie, I still love ya!November 4, 2013 5:41 pm at 5:41 pm #985859
“I’m davening I’ll be strong enough to deal with everything. “
And I guarantee that Hashem will not answer such a prayer. You admitted that this place ruins your emunah and you had to speak to a Rav for 3 hours to get back on track. You can’t just run back here like this. Hashem will not help you. You need to help you first.November 4, 2013 6:29 pm at 6:29 pm #985860HaLeiViParticipant
WIY, calm down. Armchair general is an easy job.
A side point:
You’ve heard stories of Tzadikim and learned Gemaros where a Chacham would say that he is sure of a certain fact. There is a lot we can learn from those stories, but copying that language is not one of them.November 4, 2013 6:50 pm at 6:50 pm #985861
He’s WI, he knows things we do not.November 4, 2013 11:43 pm at 11:43 pm #985862
Evidently you missed my thread yesterday. There is a very good reason for my coming back on… I’m really being careful with the threads I read. Thank you for your concern.November 5, 2013 5:42 pm at 5:42 pm #985863
I don’t want to keep hocking away at you but I honestly think someone who is holding where you are is taking a huge risk being here. There are many threads which go off topic and suddenly become about these kinds of questions. I have been here for too many years I know what happens here. I am not concerned for myself about these threads because I’ve already read many articles and books that discuss these topics as well as listened to many lectures about it. But for most young teens these threads are poison. You have no right to play games with this. You wouldn’t take such risks with your money or your health why would you risk your neshama your eternity so flippantly?November 5, 2013 5:44 pm at 5:44 pm #985864keepitcomingMember
so where is that thread?November 5, 2013 6:04 pm at 6:04 pm #985865
WIY, tis her desicion, I agree a little but must you be so harsh?November 5, 2013 6:14 pm at 6:14 pm #985866
“but must you be so harsh?”
You aint seen nothin yet.November 5, 2013 8:48 pm at 8:48 pm #985867
Considering I am a teen, if I heard that Id think Id be mad…but understand and be thankful you told me what you thought and that you, a stranger, actually cared….November 5, 2013 10:08 pm at 10:08 pm #985868jewishfeminist02Member
WIY, you are welcome to your own opinion, as is everyone else. But you cannot just “guarantee” that a particular prayer will not be answered. Who do you think you are?November 5, 2013 11:04 pm at 11:04 pm #985869
You cant walk into oncoming traffic and pray that you wont get hit. If this place is clearly dangerous to her shes not allowed to be here therefore choosing to remain here and “praying” that it wont damage her is moronic. Hashem isn’t the tooth fairy. Theres rules to prayer and when its just not going to work. Do you honestly think that after what happened to her Hashem wants here here? If the answer is no or any shade of no then praying will be useless.November 6, 2013 12:04 am at 12:04 am #985870
Thank you for caring about me! I haven’t got too many caring adults in my life right now so I really appreciate this. OK, s here’s the story. I am going through something so hard, if I wouldn’t know that Hashem exists and I can talk to Him and he cares, and that one day I’ll be paid back for what I’m going through, I would not be able t hold myself back rom committing suicide. And so, I know it sounds awful, but I’m not going to be doubting whether Hashem exists or not. Simply out of pure necessity, I believe in Hashem. It’s kinda hard for me to explain this but that’s the best I can do. Again, thank you for caring.
I requested that the thread be removed. That’s why you can’t find it.November 6, 2013 2:10 pm at 2:10 pm #985871
Been there, done that! Hang in there!!! Were all here 4 u anytime!November 6, 2013 2:29 pm at 2:29 pm #985872For_realParticipant
I’m not sure if I had anything to do with confusing you, but if I did, I sincerely apologize! This may have been slightly naive on my part, but I guess it never quite occurred to me that some of the people reading and writing on this site are children / teens. I would expect to be able to have a respectable debate with an adult, someone who understands fully the reprecussions of the argument. It was never my intention to ruin anyone else. I am not insulting your intelligence, far from it, but you gain a broader perspective as you get older. Stay strong. I sincerely hope you get through whatever it is that’s torturing you! You seem like a good person.November 6, 2013 2:49 pm at 2:49 pm #985873
Children? Thats going a little too farNovember 6, 2013 6:13 pm at 6:13 pm #985874
You are welcome. You should know that the internet as a whole is not a good place for people contemplating suicide chas veshalom. You can google about suicide and internet if you wish. You need to find things that make you happy and make you feel good about yourself. Wasting time on the net doesnt make one feel better in most cases…
I would like to add that many people think that life is supposed to be easy and thats why they get so upset when its not. The Lubavitcher Rebbe said that life isnt fair. It wasnt meant to be. Everyone is here for a reason and everyone is given different challenges that will bring out the best in them. I cant have your challenges because they arent tailor made for me to bring out the best in me. Hashem doesnt make mistakes. He created you with the life setting you need to become great. Furthermore he created you with the personality and tools that will enable you to overcome your challenges to bring out your inner greatness. Don’t stop davening and dont stop believing in yourself. You are great and you have infinite potential inside of you. Push yourself to accomplish great things.November 6, 2013 7:51 pm at 7:51 pm #985875jewishfeminist02Member
“You cant [sic] walk into oncoming traffic and pray that you wont get hit.”
Sure you can. And just because you shouldn’t have walked into traffic doesn’t mean that Hashem won’t answer your prayer. Can you “guarantee” that anyone who walks into oncoming traffic will get hit? There are a lot of foolish and naive people out there who do it, and guess what? Many of them have near-misses. Maybe, from our perspective, they deserved to get hit, but Hashem saw fit to save them for whatever reason.
“Hashem isn’t the tooth fairy. Theres [sic] rules to prayer and when its [sic] just not going to work.”
Rules? Really? What are the rules? We have a chiyuv to daven, and there are halachos regarding what, when, and how to daven. Nowhere, however, is it stated that there is a formula or system or rules of any kind regarding when prayer will “work”. Furthermore, the distinction between prayer that “works” and prayer that “doesn’t work” is essentially meaningless. All tefillah is worthwhile; all tefillah is precious to Hashem; all tefillah helps you grow. There’s a famous saying that I’m sure you’ve come across at some point: “Hashem answers every prayer, but sometimes His answer is no.” And sometimes, in order to give you what you need in the long term, Hashem directs your life in the short term in a way that you don’t perceive as positive. So you might think that Hashem doesn’t love you or has abandoned you, but in truth, you just can’t see that He is giving you something infinitely better than what you requested.
“Do you honestly think that after what happened to her Hashem wants here [sic] here? If the answer is no or any shade of no then praying will be useless.”
First of all, I can’t possibly presume to know what Hashem wants from her. Second of all, there is no such thing as a “useless” prayer. See above.
One final thought:
We are commanded to believe in God. It is a positive mitzvah incumbent on all of us. Anyone who has issues with emunah severe enough that viewing a moderated website is a faith-shaking experience clearly needs to be working on their emunah anyway. Better to go through that (relatively mild) experience and to recognize that you need to work on this area than to coast through life until something more serious hits you and you realize you have no answers for the kofrim, and begin to wonder why not. Three hours with a rabbi is not a bad thing at all. I honestly believe that while our communities and institutions are scrupulous about mitzvahs that require you to “do something” or refrain from “doing something”, they do not even begin to stress the importance of mitzvahs relating to thought, belief, and emotion, e.g. believe in God, love God, fear God, love your neighbor, do not covet, do not hate your neighbor in your heart, etc.November 6, 2013 7:57 pm at 7:57 pm #985876SanityIsOverratedParticipant
TAOM- I think I actually understand your necessity of belief. In some ways, that’s exactly what Judiasm is about. Faith. If we doubted every time we had questions, we wouldn’t be able to survive till we get answers. Things seem bad now, but they won’t always be. If there is one consistency in this world to depend on, it’s change. Things will change, sometimes it will be better, sometimes it won’t. But you won’t stay in this forever. I recently saw a good quote that I’d like to share with you.
“I asked for strength and God gave me difficulties to make me strong.
I asked for wisdom and God gave me problems to solve.
I asked for prosperity and God gave me brawn and brain to work.
I asked for courage and God gave me dangers to overcome.
I asked for love and God gave me troubled people to help.
My prayers were answered.”
We don’t always know why things appear so bad, but faith helps us through until we can. With time, hopefully God will show you why He gave you these particular struggles. Having been down the struggling road, I can say I don’t always know why, but I do know God does love us, and is helping us. It just might be awhile till we can really see it.November 6, 2013 8:15 pm at 8:15 pm #985877
Listen, theres a concept of tefillas shav where you simply arent supposed to daven for that thing. Theres other concepts of tefillah as well. Tefillah isnt magic, Hashem wants us to help ourselves and do our best and then daven for His help, if we arent doing ours we can Daven but Hashem is not going to answer such a Tefillah. If you dont go to work but Daven your heart out you will starve to death because you didnt do hishtadlus. We are required to do Hishtadlus in every area of life. There’s bechira, and Hashem gave us a brain if we choose not to use it and then just Daven then we are being foolish. Tefillah is when you did all you can and the rest is in Hashems hands.November 6, 2013 11:19 pm at 11:19 pm #985878
Shopping- Thanks! You’re so sweet:)
WIY- Thanks for that post. I found it really inspiring.
Sanity- Wow, that quote is amazing! I think I’ll put it on my locker. Thanks for your post.November 6, 2013 11:32 pm at 11:32 pm #985879
You are welcome. All the best!November 6, 2013 11:37 pm at 11:37 pm #985880
WIY- I wish I’d know you in three dimensional life; you sound like such a nice person!November 7, 2013 2:11 am at 2:11 am #985881supermeMember
WIY- why areyou being so harsh? She admitted to failing what she wanted to do but by being nasty it won’t make her feel guilty and get off! Also who are you gods helper?! How do u know what prayers he will listen to?! That’s a lack of belief that god exists! Also you can’t tell her Internet bad placethis is bad place etc if your on it yourself meaning if you didn’t conquer it yet you can’t be nasty to her then!!!
Taom I’m praying for you I’m also going thru hard time as people tell me “daven for me, daven for you”- god answers prayers more of we daven for someonelse in the same situation…you took the first step by admitting and knowing that this isn’t the place for you “Kudos” to you!!November 7, 2013 3:12 am at 3:12 am #985882
superme- Thanks for sticking up for me there!November 7, 2013 3:59 am at 3:59 am #985883
I’m on her side. I probably care about her more than you do.November 7, 2013 11:18 am at 11:18 am #985884supermeMember
WIY- whoa!!!!! What’s with you? Always so mean? And I hardly doubt that bec the ppl who care more are the ones who went thru it or are going thru it! Also you have a weird way of showing you careNovember 7, 2013 5:15 pm at 5:15 pm #985885
You know what I went through? I’m a guy and I went through all the garbage you teens are going through in the male version. I’m not a mean person. You can’t read one post a person writes size them up and jump on them for it.November 7, 2013 5:19 pm at 5:19 pm #985886keepitcomingMember
WIY- ur ok i hear where ur coming from. its like you see what it does to u so how can u ask hashem to help u not do it. but than again if someone is addicted to smoking – begging hashem for help is the only way to go.. meshcheini acharecha narutzah- first need the help from hashem.November 7, 2013 5:21 pm at 5:21 pm #985887streekgeekParticipant
@WIY – “I probably care about her more than you do.” I believe you. Keep doing what you’re doing.
@saysme – I don’t think I hear TAOM complain about WIY’s posts. On the contrary she seems to be grateful for his responses.November 7, 2013 9:44 pm at 9:44 pm #985889
Just a clarification-
I appreciate superme’s defense of me, it shows she cares. I also appreciate WIY’s post because, again, it shows he cares.
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