Ahava, I’m so sorry to hear what you’re going through. You’re going through such a hard and challenging time, and things are just so hard right now, between pregnancy and avelus and being far from family and not having enough money. Hashem does hear your tefilos and no matter how badly you think you are doing ruchniyus wise, the fact that you managed to daven at all is amazing. You’re bringing life into the world and starting a Jewish family and doing it in a very difficult situation. You are a hero.
I don’t have any advice for you but it really does sound hard, and I hope and daven that things begin to work out for you for the good, that your husband finds a good parnasa soon and things begin to settle down.