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Ive heard the first year is most difficult. However, what would you do if you were frum, at poverty level living outside the eruv? Mind you the frum community is a few miles away but very small and severely hashgafically segregated. Now that we are expecting our first iyh, I want to go back to the loving, warm community I came from but we have no parnosse. Afraid to go thru pregnancy without my support network. Any advice please?
Start a shiur in your home?
Or a Tupperware party?
A Rosh Chodesh party?
You will become the nucleus of warmth and love in this community, with Hashem’s help.
move to eretz yisroel everyone is poor here
What does your husband do?
Shana Rishonim????
Oy vey…
The Wolf
You live outside the eruv? Oh my goodness! I would jump off the roof.
Just don’t hold of the eruv, and then it won’t bother you.
Seriously speaking, Being depressed when you’re expecting isn’t really a good thing. Rather I should say depression isn’t ever really a good thing. Make sure you get the support you need to get out of this! I don’t know enough about your situation to guide you properly. Is this about loneliness?
a) Regarding the eruv: There are many of us who are somech on the shita of the Rambam (and also the Mishna Berura) and never carry within string eruvin. Eventually, you can learn to live without it. I daven in the same place for all three tefillot, leave my siddur there, and either leave my tallit there before shabbat, or wear my tallit on shabbat. For a woman, this can be trickier, especially once a baby is born, since you can’t push a stroller on shabbat. Solutions could possibly include getting a sitter for while you go to shul, or, have your husband go to hashkama minyan and then you go to the regular minyan.
b) Parnassa: It is a huge challenge for all of us. Education costs a ton of money, and the cost of frum living, even when welfare is involved, is very high. Jobs are not in abundance. I also find there are more opportunities in large cities, but the issue is that the cost of living is also much higher here. I’d suggest speaking with a professional about finances and jobs.
c) PUSH: Pray Until Something Happens. Your story is heartbreaking to me. Connect with your local rabbi and see what can be done for your family. If there are frum business owners, maybe they can offer employment, or donations of food, clothing, etc.
People don’t realise how creative they are, think of some solutions, follow out on the best one — even if it takes perseverance, you’ll be happier, that will make your husband happier, and that will make both of you even more happier and productive.
Are there any Yiden in your community that you could hook up with? Do you have a job? You must’ve moved there for a reason? I understand that you both have moved away from family and friends, try to make new friends and new connections. Please help yourself, you must realize we are limited here, not knowing your situation.
I have a friend who can help you. She works for an organization called Sparks. Even though they are dedicated to dealing with women postpartum she could help you along now as well. Please call sparks and ask for Rivky.
If you can’t get the number., let me know and I will get it for you! You need to reach out to the proper channels to help you through this…. You will be fine , don’t worry!!
Sparks number is 1 718 2sparks. Please call.
Ahava, I’m so sorry to hear what you’re going through. You’re going through such a hard and challenging time, and things are just so hard right now, between pregnancy and avelus and being far from family and not having enough money. Hashem does hear your tefilos and no matter how badly you think you are doing ruchniyus wise, the fact that you managed to daven at all is amazing. You’re bringing life into the world and starting a Jewish family and doing it in a very difficult situation. You are a hero.
I don’t have any advice for you but it really does sound hard, and I hope and daven that things begin to work out for you for the good, that your husband finds a good parnasa soon and things begin to settle down.
Please can a Mod correct the title of this thread.
ahava, you and your family will be in our tefillos. please try to get the help from these programs and what they offer.
Ahava 282: You can call sparks from wherever you are!
Ahava 282 : I’m so happy you spoke with Rivky and that she was helpful. It is important to know that there is help out there, you just have to know where to reach out! Wishing you an easy pregnancy and a life full of simcha!
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