rebdoniel:
Who is this Ron Lieber, what qualifications does this person possess (academic degrees, research, and experience within the frum community), and what makes you think you can present an argument from the cursed NYT?
I have worked with virtually hundreds of couples, and have a great familiarity with the range of problems presenting. It is not arguable that money issues enter the picture. But the origins of the problems and the core issues are about control, etc. Finances is just one of the arenas where the games are played.
Let me throw another twist into this discussion. A great percentage of all cases appearing before a professional (therapist, counselor, coach, etc.) where a couple is struggling involve the goal of at least one party seeking to describe the other as abusive. The preponderance is that the wife tries to claim the husband is abusive, but the other direction is far from uncommon. One way in which this is described concretely is the control or denial of money. It is simply an easy way to portray the nature of the relationship. Ask any of the professionals who deal with couples whether the issues that are presented at the opening sessions are actually core issues or are just manifestations that are acted out frequently. I rest my case.