aurora77, welcome to the Coffee Room.
kollel_wife noted: “I have the feeling you may be getting a distorted picture of Orthodox Jewish life.” This may be true.
Note that the name of this website is the Yeshiva World, not the Orthodox World. There are different forms of Orthodoxy although unfortunately many here believe that only their way is the “right” one.
I belong to an Orthodox synagogue that is part of the Young Israel movement. We are a member of the Union of Orthodox Jewish Congregations of America, popularly known as the OU. This is the same organization that is responsible for the major kosher certification service in the United States.
Some of the people on this website disparage my congregation and people like me as “modern Orthodox,” and call us “MO” at least when they are minding their manners. 🙂 This is because, by and large because although we follow Jewish law, we do not follow chasidic or chareidi customs.
As noted in one of the first replies, you may or may not already be Jewish. According to Rabbi Gedalia Schwartz, the head of the Beth Din [religious court] of America (and former rabbi of my congregation), a person who was born Jewish, even if he or she does not know it, does not need to convert.
Instead, such people are often referred to classes such as those from the National Jewish Outreach Program (NJOP) headed by Rabbi Ephraim Buchwald of Manhattan’s Lincoln Square Synagogue.
I would suggest you start with a consultation with an Orthodox rabbi or contact the Rabbinical Council of America for a referral to determine whether or not you need to convert.
There are plenty of good Orthodox Jews who do not wear black hats. I am sorry if this starts a flame war but it needs to be said.
aurora77, may you blessed with finding the path in life that G-d intended for you.